Am I wrong to be anoid???

[unhappychick]

I have been with my partner for approx 6 months, the problem is his parents, he still lives at home (he is 30) with his parents, and on the other hand I have my own house and 2 children. When he told his parents about me they hit the roof, said he is wasting his life with someone "like me" and made me out to be the biggest scumbag on the earth, all because I have 2 children, they couldnt be more further from the truth, I am a good mum, keep a clean and tidy home and do the best for my children, he has ignored there comments and we have continued our relationship, however I find it difficult to listen to things they have said about me, not just them his sister as well, she was saying to him, "make sure you dont get her pregnant"!!! I was livid, I told him I do have my own mind and can make a decision on wether or not I want another child and at this moment in time its the last thing I want! There comments are very disrespectful and hurtful, Last night my partner said to me that he will be going to a wedding reception in a few weeks, I took it from that I wasnt invited, I asked him whos wedding it was and he said it was his mums friends daughters, I went very quiet after this, and am feeling that by going without me, he is letting me down, its like he is going along with his mothers wishes and putting my feelings on the back burner. I also have another concern, the last few times he has stayed here when he goes to have a wash in the morning , he is taking his mobile in the b.room with him, this morning I said "why did you take your phone in the bathroom" he said "Idont know" with a puzzled look on his face....now im feeling he is hiding something from me the fact that he is keeping the phone close to his chest at all times, even though his behaviour towards me gives me no cause for concern, however I find this odd and am tempted to look at it when he is asleep, am I wrong to be feeling like I do about these 2 issues that I have?

[daffy654]

She obviously means ANNOYED.

[sir.prize]

or even android

or even annoyed

[unhappychick]

Ok ok so I made a spelling error!!!

[sir.prize]

Everything you have said has a negative element to it - including your thoughts of mistrust. Take your time, six months is only a probationary period. Remember - you have no proven evidence that he is not true in the relationship - it is merely your thoughts. Relax, enjoy and think positive.

[pusspuss]

ask him to let you see his mobile.

[pusspuss]

what ? my mobile answer or ?

[tigwig]

I think you need to have a serious talk with your partner. At his age he is capable of making his own mind up not listening to his parents and he needs to choose who is his priority. If he cannot commit to you after 6 months and isn't willing to treat you properly I would tell him where to go

[bms]

Well Ithink you should talk to him about things like does he want children and how many if possible? Does he has a child? May be those are things that his parents are concerned about and its difficult for him tell you all that.

But you need to discuss about the future of your relationship (where do you see the two of you in two three years time). May that can make him open up about what he thinks about you. Cause you saying you already have two children, and I assume that none of them is his.

You are also saying that you don't want any for now, may be that's what he wants. I might be not answering you qouestion but talking about what I've said might give you some idea.

[banjosister]

Hey unhappychick,

it sounds to me like you have trust issues. Has a previous partner been unfaithful?

If this is not the case I'm sorry, it sounds like you're on a negative turn, try to think about it from a different angle.

Hope this helps xx

[tamirra]

No knowledge you spelt it wrong again, so don`t pick on people that make a mistake before you look at yourself.

[tigerlily11]

Noknowledge ne help again. Why do you read these types of posts if you can offer nothing mre than idiotic rubbish.
Sorry to hear ur problem Chick.
It's not a nice position to be in really. To me it sounds like he has taken more notice of his family. Thats his problem and to be honest I think you need to confront him and tell him ur not going to put up with being shut out just because his family don't like it.
I don't like the man my daughter is seeing but I won't tell her so because to be frank its her buisness not mine.
I wish I could give you more than that but as the saying goes,you can choose your friends but not ur family.
If thye have made these remarks then it is obvious they are not happy with it which is a shame and they have no intention of keeping their noses out of it. You better off out of it than keep on trying and getting hurt. People like that aren't worth it.
Have a good life with some one who is interested in a life with you not what their family has to say.

[tigerlily11]

Please excuse the spelling I watching the tv at the same and and my multitasking is rubbish.

[Myriad2112]

What is anoid?

[unhappychick]

Well in response to all the decent msgs I have received, I think I do have trust issues, but I think its down to my own insecurities about myself, what with all the nasty comments from his family that doesnt help at all, just being put down all the time. The irritating thing about it is, they have never even met me, and I think it unfair to judge someone you dont even know, so what if I have 2 children, that doesnt make me a bad person does it? just unfortunate thats all, I have never come across anyone with such bitterness towards me. I am normally a strong character and can rise above such things, but to be characterised as the scum of the earth is so degrading to me, I have struggled very much in my life and left an abusive partner, if I hadnt had left, I would probably be 6ft under by now, I feel I have achieved a lot since then, college courses etc and have raised 2 decent children and to be put down like that in the knowledge that I have worked my guts out to get where I am now is down right disrespectful to say the least. Maybe its them and what there saying that is making me insecure about myself, cos its certainly nothing I have done! Thanks for all your comments -x-

[Marijn]

Going back to the point about him taking the phone in the bathroom... it sounds like he's worried someone might call him, that he doesn't want you to see. Or it could just be that he's very attached to his phone, I am sometimes.
I can understand that you are tempted to look at his phone while he is asleep. Ask to look at his phone or ask him again, why he's taking the phone into the bathroom, if he is still doing it.

[unhappychick]

Also, in response to the question about me saying that I didnt want any children at the moment....well we have discussed it, although its early days, and I said that I would have more, but at a much later date and would have to get married 1st. He does want children and knows that I would have one when we are more established as a couple, we have also discussed living together etc....allthough I dont think his parents know any of that! God knows what they would have to say if they knew that. Also his mum made a comment once not so long ago and he told her, look im staying with her so get used to it! I must admit he has stuck up for me a lot, and refuses to listen to them...I know this has been really hard for him also.