alcohol dependant mother

[dogooder]

i have joint parental resposibility of my 6 year old daughter but have growing concerns for her wellbeing. her mum is alcohol dependant and is in the pub from 9.15am till she has to pick her up from school at 3pm .she is a clever mother though and always sends our daughter to school ,so as not to raise any suspicions! my 6 year old had to have 12 teeth out this year as her dental hygiene was zero ! my daughters life is spent up the pub or with adults that have been constantly drinking , not a very nice pub i must add. they are living with a friend as a year ago her mum was made homeless and the council now refuse to help her ,this is the 2nd move in 2 months. the person whom she is living with was well known for taking heroine but im not sure if she still does ! when her mum ws made homeless social services gave her to me as i was sharing a house and had room for her and the support of my family. her mother eventually wangled herself into my home as she was still home less but after a few months i moved out as situation was no good for all !she eventually got kicked out and went to some fellas house , this didnt work after 2 weeks and now she is at mate as i said. her mum couldnt even bother to show up to sports day as she said she had a flat to view but was actully in pub ! wot do i do and where do i stand ?

[redcrx]

do you have the means to support your daughter now and provide her with a home?

talk to the social services again and voice your concerns, you cant leave you daughter in that situation.

[dogooder]

im am inbetween work but am unsure wether to get a job because then i wouldnt be able to look after my daughter. i do have the very good support of my parents as im living back at home at the moment .i have spoken to social services and they have told me to seek legal advise .

[unhappychick]

This is not a very happy life for your daughter, spending time with drunken adults and possibly heroin addicts, not the sort of environment any child should be in!

You sound like a resonsible parent and are obviously concerned for your child, and in all honesty I cant see this woman ever taking proper responsibility with this child or with her drinking habits, so maybe you should try and seek custody of your daughter, there are lots of single fathers and if you have the support from your family, they could help you...My 1st priority would be to go and see a solicitor, explain the sitch and see where it goes from there, it may be a long process, but it will be worth it in the end...a child needs stability and routine which im afraid she is not going to get from drunken adults, if it were my child, I would be seriously worried and would take action immediately!

[unhappychick]

Sorry just noticed your reply! If you were to get custody of your daughter, the council will help you provide a roof over both your heads....call them and find out where you will stand if you were to get custody...good luck!

[dogooder]

thankyou for your reply and i totally agree with you . social services have said it is based on hearsay but i know that the people that have told me these things are reliable and most of them are her so called friends !!i have told her that i would willingly have my daughter while she sorts herself out and if she did this she could then have her back but she is not thinking of the child only herself. i am worried she is vulnerable whilst her mother is drinking ,god knows what situations she gets into !!

[unhappychick]

Exactly my point...at the end of the day, she is an adult and not a responsible one at that, your daughter on the other hand is a vulnerable child that needs looking after and you sound like the man for the job....go for it!

[B00]

I hate to sound a cow here, no really I do! But if you suspected half of what you typed as being true, why on earth are you even dithering about it?

Get on to the powers that be ASAP and get your child away from this woman and environment!

If I was you, I'd hound every relevant body going and wouldn't stop until my child was safe.

[unhappychick]

Tetjam, why bother to answer unless you have something constructive to say???

[dogooder]

obviously tetjem is the same sort of person but i hope they have no kids in their care

[dogooder]

answer to boo . if you had bothered to read all i have typed you will see that i have contacted the powers that may and am just asking for others advice too !

[unhappychick]

Tetjam, well roll off, and grow up...what a d*ck lol!

[B00]

I did bother to read- hence my reply.

Im gobsmacked you've let your child go through as much as what you say to be honest.

Why have you not contemplated keeping your child instead of letting her stay with her mum? If i was in your shoes, i'd refuse to allow her to go back to her and fight this through the courts.

[dogooder]

reply to BOO. i cant just keep her i have to have a residency order which im in the process of getting without one the police can just come and get her back and i dont want her to go through this ! she is happy and loves her mum ,its me that wants to take her away not her that wants to leave ! and i dont need negative comments i would rather you didnt leave any ....

[stonekicker]

dogooder - as a parent and somebody with a serious concern for your daughter's welfare, you have the right to contact social services and insist that they make a proper assessment of the situation. being drunk in charge of a child is an offence (post 3pm) and exposing younsters to using hard drugs is serious neglect (as is the rottten teeth). both would come under the remit of the social and the children's act and something obviously needs to be done -now. keep badgering them, maybe write down a diary and some past historical stuff to present to them as evidence. i don't see how they can ignore this for much longer...good luck.