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Feeling down
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I am 21 and have been feeling down for quite a while. I go through phases of feeling extremely depressed and crying all the time/or if I can't cry if I'm at work feeling like I want to cry or walk out of job and then I get other phases where I am not so bad at all - I am neither ecstatically happy or really depressed but I am kind of on an even keel at least mood wise.
I have had 6 nhs CBT sessions and I found the only way they helped was they kept me motivated to keep trying to improve myself and get out and do more things etc. but apart from that I didn't learn anything I didn't already know.
I have now been prescribed anit depressants on Tuesday but I haven't taken any yet. I was prescribed them by another doctor and I want to ask my usual doctor about them first as he knows me better. Tuesday when I made the appt with the doctor I was so depressed and cried in front of her and since she prescibed the anti depressants I've kind of thought to myself I have to try again to be happier without medication.
I feel like I wont be happy until I am about 30 + and settled with a bf and baby and own home but I know I can't just sit around waiting for that to happen, I have to do things in the meantime to improve myself and be happier but I don't know what will make me happy?
I have had 6 nhs CBT sessions and I found the only way they helped was they kept me motivated to keep trying to improve myself and get out and do more things etc. but apart from that I didn't learn anything I didn't already know.
I have now been prescribed anit depressants on Tuesday but I haven't taken any yet. I was prescribed them by another doctor and I want to ask my usual doctor about them first as he knows me better. Tuesday when I made the appt with the doctor I was so depressed and cried in front of her and since she prescibed the anti depressants I've kind of thought to myself I have to try again to be happier without medication.
I feel like I wont be happy until I am about 30 + and settled with a bf and baby and own home but I know I can't just sit around waiting for that to happen, I have to do things in the meantime to improve myself and be happier but I don't know what will make me happy?
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Everyone has times when they feel down and there is a difference between this and depression. Is there a reason behind why you feel down and why you fell like walking out of your job? Perhaps you should write a list of what is bad in your life and you want to change and what is good. That way you can get to the root of what is causing you to feel like this and perhaps find solutions. If you don't like a job then try to find a new one. If you want a boyfriend you have to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else, you're right when you say you can't sit round waiting for things to happen, you have to make things happen. Working out what you want to happen and setting goals to work to will give you something to focus on and acheive. Do you have friends or family that you can talk to about how you feel?
I agree that you should talk to your usual doctor and see what he recommends with the anti-depressants, they are by no means a magic pill but may help. The final decision on taking them is ultimatley yours.
I have been where you are and I know its hard to get yourself out of it. It will require a bit of hard work and determination. Keep your chin up and try to focus on good things in your life, it will hopefully slowly improve.
I agree that you should talk to your usual doctor and see what he recommends with the anti-depressants, they are by no means a magic pill but may help. The final decision on taking them is ultimatley yours.
I have been where you are and I know its hard to get yourself out of it. It will require a bit of hard work and determination. Keep your chin up and try to focus on good things in your life, it will hopefully slowly improve.
Hi Caj1 - thanks so much for replying - I agree with what you have said that I just need to make short term goals in order to better myself, boost confidence and improve skills for work so I can get a better job etc. I am currently trying to do these things but I find it so frustrating that things take so long to change.
I also have social anxiety so I find it hard to communicate with other people and I often feel like I'm being walked over and not getting my point across. This is the hardest thing that I don't know how to change - this also stops me from being myself. I have tried volunteering and getting out more and stuff but I can never think of anything to say and in arguments I always back down first and let the other person be right even if I know I am right. I really want to change this most I think but I can't think of things to say and get no realy long conversation - conversations just end up with me asking questions a bit like an interrogation almost although I try to contribute things too. I am a great listener but I need to have things to say myself as it is a bit one sided now and I am fed up of listening to others - I want to talk about me and have a meaningful conversation.
I also have social anxiety so I find it hard to communicate with other people and I often feel like I'm being walked over and not getting my point across. This is the hardest thing that I don't know how to change - this also stops me from being myself. I have tried volunteering and getting out more and stuff but I can never think of anything to say and in arguments I always back down first and let the other person be right even if I know I am right. I really want to change this most I think but I can't think of things to say and get no realy long conversation - conversations just end up with me asking questions a bit like an interrogation almost although I try to contribute things too. I am a great listener but I need to have things to say myself as it is a bit one sided now and I am fed up of listening to others - I want to talk about me and have a meaningful conversation.
Well, if you're wanting to better your skills for a better job what about signing up to a short course. That way you will learn something, better yourself and you will get to know new people. You also won't really have to talk to them loads at the start because you'll be there to learn but will start talking and getting to know them gradually. Things do take a long time to happen but as the saying goes "good things happen to those who wait".
I've no idea what its like to have social anxiety and I'm sure it makes things hard like you say. Maybe you could sign up for an assertiveness course and learn how to stand up for yourself a little bit, this would help with your confidence too. Maybe when you have a conversation and don't get your point accross go home and write down what you wanted to say and the next day find the person and say "yesterday I didn't really get my point across, what I wanted to say was..." and then say what you have written down and practised. Try to think of interesting things about yourself that you can bring up in conversation and if someone says they like something you can say "I do too".
Do you want to practice talking about you now on here?
I've no idea what its like to have social anxiety and I'm sure it makes things hard like you say. Maybe you could sign up for an assertiveness course and learn how to stand up for yourself a little bit, this would help with your confidence too. Maybe when you have a conversation and don't get your point accross go home and write down what you wanted to say and the next day find the person and say "yesterday I didn't really get my point across, what I wanted to say was..." and then say what you have written down and practised. Try to think of interesting things about yourself that you can bring up in conversation and if someone says they like something you can say "I do too".
Do you want to practice talking about you now on here?
I have booked on an assertiveness course for March so I'm hoping that will help. I have also applied for 2 jobs - one I've had the interview and am waiting to hear, one I am waiting to see if I will get interview. I've been looking into courses but I can't find anything part time at local college so I've tried Pitmans which have lots of things I'm interested in but I could get a lot of their courses cheaper from Learn Direct like touch typing for instance at Pitmans its �125 and Learn Direct it's �35. The Learn Direct ones are a done through a CD Rom they send you and my laptop and internet are not working properly at the moment so I though it would be better and cheaper in the long run if I saved up and bought a new laptop then bought some courses to do on my laptop from Learn Direct. So I'm just going to try and save to sort that which means waiting again lol.
I've been keeping a journal of my feelings but I don't write everyday and I do need to get in the habit of doing this especially like you say write down things like when I don't feel I've got my point across in a conversation.
Yes I would like to practise talking on here now if you don't mind? You start the conversation cus I don't know what to say lol
I've been keeping a journal of my feelings but I don't write everyday and I do need to get in the habit of doing this especially like you say write down things like when I don't feel I've got my point across in a conversation.
Yes I would like to practise talking on here now if you don't mind? You start the conversation cus I don't know what to say lol
At least you've thought through what you want to do and plans. There's always computers in librarys too if you really want to get started now. Good for you going on the assertiveness course, it should help.
Ok here goes...(just imagine you're talking to me about you and not interrogating me lol)
Hi,
I'm Caj, I work in admin and live with my boyfriend who is currently serving in Iraq, tell me a little bit about you...
Ok here goes...(just imagine you're talking to me about you and not interrogating me lol)
Hi,
I'm Caj, I work in admin and live with my boyfriend who is currently serving in Iraq, tell me a little bit about you...
I could never do financial stuff, me and numbers don't go too well together lol! I just do general admin, its a bit boring sometimes, I wish I could have a job I loved...not sure what that would be though! I'm so fed up being in my house by myself with my boyfriend away but I'm keeping busy. I would go to the gym and go about the garden if its nice weather and see friends. What do you like to do in your spare time?
I get a bit bored sometimes too, good job I can come on the internet though! I too would like a job that I really love but I don't know what either, never had any idea what I wanted to do so fell into admin. I don't mind if I stay in admin as long as I work my way up to get a decent wage one day lol. In my spare time I just stay in my room mostly and watch the soaps, I try to go for a 30 min walk after work to keep fit and get in shape for summer and I went spinning last night at the gym - it nearly killed me!!
It must be a bit lonely without you're boyfriend there? Does he write to you at all?
It must be a bit lonely without you're boyfriend there? Does he write to you at all?
Your career sounds a lot like mine, I just fell into this too. I'll maybe do a course and hopefully move up the ladder. Thats the problem with sharing a house, you can't do as you please and are kind of confined to certain areas. Where abouts do you live? I would watch Eastenders. I've heard about spinning classes, I would never even attempt one lol! I don't mind going out for walks, its good for clearing my head.
I miss him loads, he writes to me every week and phones quite often. Its hard but there's not much I can do about it really!
I miss him loads, he writes to me every week and phones quite often. Its hard but there's not much I can do about it really!
I live in Somerset, where do you live? I prefer walking to the gym plus its free but I sometimes go to the odd class at the gym as I know I can't give up in the middle of a class if I'm tired so I do get a better workout.
I don't know what I'd do without the soaps to watch in the evening - mind you they can get abit boring if you watch them everyday like I do so I need to get out more somehow. My friends having a baby soon though so not sure how often we will be able to meet up once baby arrives and my housemates social calendar is always booked up way in advance lol.
Thats nice that he writes and phones. Still must be hard though but like you say there isn't much you can do about it. Do you see friends regularly?
I don't know what I'd do without the soaps to watch in the evening - mind you they can get abit boring if you watch them everyday like I do so I need to get out more somehow. My friends having a baby soon though so not sure how often we will be able to meet up once baby arrives and my housemates social calendar is always booked up way in advance lol.
Thats nice that he writes and phones. Still must be hard though but like you say there isn't much you can do about it. Do you see friends regularly?
I've lived in Somerset before. I live in Ireland now. Lol, if that was me I'd just collapse in a heap and refuse to carry on! I used to go to the gym with my friend but then she moved and I stopped. I got a bike but only used it about 3 times!
Its hard to keep things the way they used to be with friends once they start getting married, having babies etc but it can be done. And there is always someon more popular and busier than you like your housemate!
It is nice that he takes time and bothers! I think its times like these when you find out who your real friends are, some make sure they take you out and cheer you up or pop round and some don't bother! I see the good ones though!
Its hard to keep things the way they used to be with friends once they start getting married, having babies etc but it can be done. And there is always someon more popular and busier than you like your housemate!
It is nice that he takes time and bothers! I think its times like these when you find out who your real friends are, some make sure they take you out and cheer you up or pop round and some don't bother! I see the good ones though!
lol, one woman did go home after about 15mins (sessions are 45mins). I wanted to stop but I thought it would be too embarassing
I'm going to try to keep in touch with my friend who's having a baby. She is a good friend and she's not like some people who stop meeting you so much since she's been in her relationship ( I have been one of these people before unfortunately but not again!) so we should be ok.
It's good that you see you're friends and they cheer you up.
Ok so I think I'm not too bad at conversations, what do you think? I am a bit hesitant to know what to say and its ok to be hesitant on the internet because you have time to think and write what you want but you can't do that face to face. Is there anything you can find fault with in my conversation - I think maybe I went on about the gym too much and haven't expressed myself terribly well when acknowledging similarities in our lives. What do you think?
I'm going to try to keep in touch with my friend who's having a baby. She is a good friend and she's not like some people who stop meeting you so much since she's been in her relationship ( I have been one of these people before unfortunately but not again!) so we should be ok.
It's good that you see you're friends and they cheer you up.
Ok so I think I'm not too bad at conversations, what do you think? I am a bit hesitant to know what to say and its ok to be hesitant on the internet because you have time to think and write what you want but you can't do that face to face. Is there anything you can find fault with in my conversation - I think maybe I went on about the gym too much and haven't expressed myself terribly well when acknowledging similarities in our lives. What do you think?
I can find a fault with you.... you put yourself down to much and doubt yourself!
There was nothing wrong with your conversation at all, I never once thought that you went on about the gym too much, honsetly. You seem to be able to hold a conversation fine. Like you say its different on here rather than speaking face to face because you get time to think but you can practice and you'll get the hang of it. This can let you see how you can relate to other people and how you can branch out when talking about similar things.
There was nothing wrong with your conversation at all, I never once thought that you went on about the gym too much, honsetly. You seem to be able to hold a conversation fine. Like you say its different on here rather than speaking face to face because you get time to think but you can practice and you'll get the hang of it. This can let you see how you can relate to other people and how you can branch out when talking about similar things.
Ok well thanks CAJ for chatting with me. I will keep practising on here by joining in with other conversations. I suppose I am not too bad at conversations. I need to work on my assertion and giving opinions more though. Thanks for taking the time to chat with me CAJ, probs bump into you again on here xxx :-)
No problem angel21, if you feel really down again come on here.
If you join in conversations on here you will be able to give your opinion on things and if people disagree you can try to be brave and argue your point! Practise makes perfect. I'm sure one day you'll look back and wonder why you had so much trouble! Your assertiveness course will help you to pick up new skills too. I hope you don't feel quite so down anymore :o)
Speak to you again xx
If you join in conversations on here you will be able to give your opinion on things and if people disagree you can try to be brave and argue your point! Practise makes perfect. I'm sure one day you'll look back and wonder why you had so much trouble! Your assertiveness course will help you to pick up new skills too. I hope you don't feel quite so down anymore :o)
Speak to you again xx
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