Here are some unfortunate notices.

[marval]

In a toilet

Toilet out of order please use floor below

In a Laundry

Automatic washing machines, please remove all your clothes when the light goes out

In a store

Bargain basement upstairs

In an office

Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday, please bring it back or further steps will be taken

In an office

After tea break staff should empty the teapot, and stand upside down on the draining board

Outside a second hand shop

We exchange anything, bicyles,washing machines. etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain

In health food shop window

Closed due to illness

In a safari park

Elephants please stay in your car

During a conference

For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor

In a farmers field

The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges

On a repair shop door

We can repair anything, (please knock hard on the door, the bell doesn't work

[KingMangle]

lol! nice one!

[Bert]

I like "Watch batteries changed here"
and, of course, "Stop Children" on poles carried by school crossing patrol people. Except that it doesn't actually say that. It says "Stop" over a symbol of two children, hand-in-hand.

[marval]

Thanks two more good ones

[albaqwerty]

door is alarmed


why?

how do u get 4 elephants in a car?
2 in the front, 2 in the back

[squarebear]

On A tailor's door in Japan - Ladies can get felt here.

[marval]

I like it squarebear

[vulcan]

Good selection marval.
a couple of my favourites.
an advertisement by a Hong Kong Dentist
"teeth extracted by the latest methodists"
on a poster
"are you an adult that cannot read ? if so we can help"

[wasp]

Road sign . SLOW CHILDREN hardly likely to instill much
confidence in them is it ?

[marval]

Like them Vulcan

[WiseOldSage]

How about those signs on the motorway that light up and say, "Sign not in use"

[oblivio]

one of my favourites:

EARS PIERCED WHILE YOU WAIT

[oblivio]

There is also a large notice at Salisbury Hospital saying

"PLASTIC OUTPATIENTS"