Oops
Old Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their vicar to stand with them. As the vicar stood next to the bed, Old Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
The vicar lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper and Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died.
The vicar thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Fred died.
He said, "You know, Old Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."
He opened the note, and read, "You idiot, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"