Shame about my job

[karma22]

Handed in my notice. Reasons I am leaving are: -

a) feel like girl talks about her baby on purpose to hurt me (after I had abortion that she knows about)

b) not much of a social life (only a few of us in the office

c) feel like I can't change and be more confident and assertive now as I have been the opposite for the past 4 years.

I just wanted to say that if I had been totally open and honest from the start, not pretended that I was over abortion then things could have been different. Also think that they would not like it if I changed and become more confident and assertive but in reality this is probs just in my head.

Could have got training here to be a mortgage adviser and I have been lucky that I have been allowed to leave at 4 and still get paid til 5.

Lesson well and truly learned!!!

[sara3]

a) perhaps you need counselling regarding your abortion. where ever you go you will come across people with babies and they do love to talk about them, but that doesn't mean they're trying to hurt you.

b) considering today's employment situation, I don't think you should rely on a job for your social life. it's hard enough getting a reasonable job.

c) maybe you don't have to change, but be happy with who you are?

[hc4361]

That doesn't make sense. Mothers do talk about their babies,it is natural.
You falsely reassured your colleagues that you were over the abortion.
You should not mix business with pleasure. You should find a social life that is separate to your working life.
Good luck with finding another job.

[redcrx]

so where are you going to find a job thats full of sociable people who have no children and you can be confident around

[4getmenot]

Whatever job you take you are not going to forget your past. You probably gave up at a very good job.

[4getmenot]

and all 3 of the reasons of why you left have nothing whatsoever to do with job and everything to do with you

[karma22]

If it was anyone else talking about children though I wouldn't be so bothered because they wouldn't know about my circumstances therefore I would know that they are definitely not being malicious.

Good point about having a separate social life to work though. I could have stayed here and found some other way to get a social life but I had tried a few things and it hadn't really worked - maybe I didn't give it enough time.

I think I do have to change, its natural to gain more confidence for most people but I feel for some reason I have been stuck and not progressed and its probs cus of all the other issues that have prevented me too. Perhaps theres some other reason altogether that I don't know about as to why I can't just relax and be myself and be confident etc. - if so I am gonna have problems in my next job!

I've applied for nearly 10 jobs so hope to hear back from at least one.

[karma22]

Space case and 4get - you are both right - it is my probs that have stopped me and it was quite a good job although I would never have been earning a huge amount even when qualified (maybe 16k if I'm lucky, but probs more like 14k) But space case it is also true that I have made the right decision to leave since I don't feel I can save things here.

[4getmenot]

but can you really suceed anywhere else, you dont want people talking about babies so therefore working alone would be better but you want a social life to come of it.

[4getmenot]

So you have only applied for jobs and are now unemployed? You should count yourself lucky you had one at this time. So many people are looking for a decent job and you are chucking one away. What happens if you cant get a job now

[joggerjayne]

Poor you, karma ...

=0(

I hope things work out for you.

Most of the time, when you have to make a decision like this, you eventually look back and see that it was totally the right decision.

Besides ... life is a bit of a roller-coaster ...

... so don't be afraid to ride it !!!

J x x x

[redcrx]

karma, youre not going to know if youve made the right decision for a while.

i hope that you can leave your past and its problems behind you, get a new life and see what that may hold.

i also hope that a new fella is on the list and youve finally got rid of the other one

[karma22]

4get - I understand it comes across a stupid thing to chuck a job away right not but you know and everyone on here knows how long I have been unhappy - I've certainly moaned a lot - so it wasn't an overnight thing really - I had thought about leaving lots in the past but always managed to hang on but inevitably when you are unhappy there is always the final straw that breaks the camels back - just so happens its come at a bad time in a recession! x

Thanks JJ - I think eventually I might look back and think that although in a lot of ways this job could have been saved - also leaving and changing won't be a bad thing either, it could even be better for me and I kinda think it will actually. I've applied for a course at college ft for one year which is an nvq in travel so would be working in travel agent in college and that might actually improve my confidence drastically and I will be better prepared for my next job. x

Thank you red x

:-)

[karma22]

Oh forgot to say that I am looking and applying for ft jobs but the reason I have applied to college is if I can't find a ft job then I may have another option to go to college, get a part time job. Thats if I can get financial help as I would need it with not working ft to pay for accommodation

[joggerjayne]

karma ... a possible career in travel ???

Now THAT would be fab !!

[craft1948]

I thought you gave up your job 'cos they wouldn't let you have a weeks holiday.......

[karma22]

Yeah it is a possible - never 100% sure me - but its definitely a maybe option! I think even if I do the course and don't want to work in travel at the end it won't be entirely wasted as I will hopefully have gained a bundle of confidence, friends, more experience and customer service experience which is good for most jobs.

Cheap holidays deffo appeal!! :-)

[karma22]

Well I was gonna take a weeks holiday and then I was worried to ask as it was an inconvenient time as girl on maternity leave and I couldn't face waiting weeks/months for her to come off maternity leave so in the end I decided I may as well just leave. But no it wasn't down to them not letting me have a holiday, I hadn't been happy for a while for the above reasons.

[cazzz1975]

you know you have to take stock a bit with your first reason, your friend went on to have a baby yes? is there a time limit on how long she has to remain tightlipped about being excited or sharing a story about her child? maybe you are being over sensitive, for people who have never been through an abortion they probably assume that you have moved on a little.

bearing in mind abortion was YOUR choice to begin with. I think sara is right in the sense that you may need some councelling, whatever job you get in the future I hope you dont tell everyone you have had an abortion then accuse them of hurting you if they talk about their kids.

clean slate, start again, although it is foolhardy to leave a secure job during a recession I wish you well in finding another job that makes you feel happier.

[dot.haukes]

Have you any issues with tydying your bedroom or moving your furniture around?