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To Have A Dog ... Or Not To Have A Dog!
Help! I need some advice please!
My husband works in an animal shelter and we often brings dogs back home for the night which is all very nice.
We've recently brought one back home who seems to be perfect. He's that bit older, only small, behaves perfectly, hasn't "messed" in the house and tends to just curl up beside you and sleep. And now we're starting to think about keeping him for good.
This is where my headache starts as I'm trying to decide if this is 100% what I really want.
We have two cats - one of 17 and one of 13. The latter was a stray and took about 10 years to go and sit with my husband! They've both met the dog and while the dog didn't bark or go for them, he was very excited and tried to run after them. They just stared him out and then stalked off upstairs (they're both house cats by the way).
On the dog's side all I can see is pros, but I'm worried on the cats' behalves - I don't want their noses put out of joint especially given their age. I don't know if I'd hold a grudge about having to come home straight after work every night rather than call into the pub for a drink or two (it happens!). We wouldn't be able to go and stay somewhere overnight (if we do this we just put extra food out for the cats - can't do that with a dog). The getting up early and going out late to walk the dog is the bit I don't mind!
By the way we both work full time so I'm also worried about leaving him home alone. He only barked when we both disappeared from the room and left him alone for about 3 mins but don't want him doing this all day. And obviously worried about him roaming around with the cats!
I know all the cons make me sound like I don't want him at all, but every night we bring him back he's so nice and sweet and I start thinking well what's the problem!!
So that's why I need some unbiased advice.
Any comments
My husband works in an animal shelter and we often brings dogs back home for the night which is all very nice.
We've recently brought one back home who seems to be perfect. He's that bit older, only small, behaves perfectly, hasn't "messed" in the house and tends to just curl up beside you and sleep. And now we're starting to think about keeping him for good.
This is where my headache starts as I'm trying to decide if this is 100% what I really want.
We have two cats - one of 17 and one of 13. The latter was a stray and took about 10 years to go and sit with my husband! They've both met the dog and while the dog didn't bark or go for them, he was very excited and tried to run after them. They just stared him out and then stalked off upstairs (they're both house cats by the way).
On the dog's side all I can see is pros, but I'm worried on the cats' behalves - I don't want their noses put out of joint especially given their age. I don't know if I'd hold a grudge about having to come home straight after work every night rather than call into the pub for a drink or two (it happens!). We wouldn't be able to go and stay somewhere overnight (if we do this we just put extra food out for the cats - can't do that with a dog). The getting up early and going out late to walk the dog is the bit I don't mind!
By the way we both work full time so I'm also worried about leaving him home alone. He only barked when we both disappeared from the room and left him alone for about 3 mins but don't want him doing this all day. And obviously worried about him roaming around with the cats!
I know all the cons make me sound like I don't want him at all, but every night we bring him back he's so nice and sweet and I start thinking well what's the problem!!
So that's why I need some unbiased advice.
Any comments
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I am sure that you are both lovely people but if you both work full time then PLEASE let this dog go to someone who will have more time to give him. You have already laid out the problems quite clearly. 1 . leaving him alone with the cats. 2 . You both work full time. 3. What to do when you go away over night. 4. Your reasonable expectation of having a life of your own (a quick drink after work) I have 2 dogs and i love them to bits but they do take up time and TBH you have to fit your life around them to a greater or lesser extent.
He might not just bark if left alone all day, he will almost certainly soil unless you know someone who will let him out into the garden. and if he gets bored and or stressed, he is likely to destroy as well....none of which will make him happy, or you.
...well thems me thoughts!
He might not just bark if left alone all day, he will almost certainly soil unless you know someone who will let him out into the garden. and if he gets bored and or stressed, he is likely to destroy as well....none of which will make him happy, or you.
...well thems me thoughts!
Hi buffymad:
I admire you tremendously for seeking other opinions. So many people jump first and ask questions afterwards, when it's too late. You're clearly looking at this not just from your own viewpoint, but also that of your cats' and this little doggie's.
We once had an elderly cat and acquired a dog. We'd had plenty of both over the years prior to this. Anyway, we brought the dog home and the first thing our old moggie did was try to beat the dog up. The dog then knew where she "stood" and who was boss - not her! I'd like to hope that you would have the same pecking order should you decide to have the dog. Otherwise trouble would ensue.
You quite rightly realise and respect the fact that a dog has different priorities to cats regarding your own "loss of liberty" shall we say? If you have any qualms about this, and forgive me for believing that I think you do, then do not have the dog.
The worst thing would be getting him and then resenting the fact that his presence has detrimentally changed your lifestyle because of the added responsibility he would bring. After all, you can make the decision here, he can't.
However, if you feel that the love and companionship of having him would outweigh any reservations, give him a home. But only if you are truly willing to adapt your present lifestyle to accommodate him.
I wish you the best of luck.
I admire you tremendously for seeking other opinions. So many people jump first and ask questions afterwards, when it's too late. You're clearly looking at this not just from your own viewpoint, but also that of your cats' and this little doggie's.
We once had an elderly cat and acquired a dog. We'd had plenty of both over the years prior to this. Anyway, we brought the dog home and the first thing our old moggie did was try to beat the dog up. The dog then knew where she "stood" and who was boss - not her! I'd like to hope that you would have the same pecking order should you decide to have the dog. Otherwise trouble would ensue.
You quite rightly realise and respect the fact that a dog has different priorities to cats regarding your own "loss of liberty" shall we say? If you have any qualms about this, and forgive me for believing that I think you do, then do not have the dog.
The worst thing would be getting him and then resenting the fact that his presence has detrimentally changed your lifestyle because of the added responsibility he would bring. After all, you can make the decision here, he can't.
However, if you feel that the love and companionship of having him would outweigh any reservations, give him a home. But only if you are truly willing to adapt your present lifestyle to accommodate him.
I wish you the best of luck.
The barking is probably a bit of seperation anxiety which can be overcome - seek advice from a behaviour specialist, they will give you an idea of how much work it might be. I had the same with my GSD who too was rescued. He's happy now with my Mum and Dad's dogs and I still see him every day but I couldn't cope.
The cats? Well my two cats (and me) live with said dogs and they couldn't give a monkeys. Yes if a dog gets too close they get hissed at by the girl and a swipe round the face by the tom - just so the dogs know who is in charge. When I had to move back home I was terrified for the cats as one had previously gone missing for two months and I had adopted them from my friend who had babies that scared them to death. Now? I cannot believe how happy they are. THey are very settled and contented. And live with 5 dogs and another cat - I just never imagined!
Good luck xx
The cats? Well my two cats (and me) live with said dogs and they couldn't give a monkeys. Yes if a dog gets too close they get hissed at by the girl and a swipe round the face by the tom - just so the dogs know who is in charge. When I had to move back home I was terrified for the cats as one had previously gone missing for two months and I had adopted them from my friend who had babies that scared them to death. Now? I cannot believe how happy they are. THey are very settled and contented. And live with 5 dogs and another cat - I just never imagined!
Good luck xx
Sorry but if he barked when you left him alone for 3 minutes - and you intend leaving him home alone ALL day?
He would most probably not only bark all day but would possibly totally wreck your house, and of course if he cannot go out for over 6 hours for a wee etc. then he will almost certainly 'mess' in the house.
No dog should be left for more than about 4 hours at a time - what if he was ill and needed medication? Or even worse what if he cornered one of the cats and either got injured himself or injured the cat?
Unless one of you could possibly take him to work with you or organise someone to come in and walk him then I really would harden your heart and let him find a home with someone around more to give him the full time love and affection he deserves.
Oh, and though you might not mind getting up early and taking him out before work now - in winter when it is dark and the wind is howling and pouring with rain it is a very different prospect!
If I were you I would stick with cats as pets whilst you both work full time.
He would most probably not only bark all day but would possibly totally wreck your house, and of course if he cannot go out for over 6 hours for a wee etc. then he will almost certainly 'mess' in the house.
No dog should be left for more than about 4 hours at a time - what if he was ill and needed medication? Or even worse what if he cornered one of the cats and either got injured himself or injured the cat?
Unless one of you could possibly take him to work with you or organise someone to come in and walk him then I really would harden your heart and let him find a home with someone around more to give him the full time love and affection he deserves.
Oh, and though you might not mind getting up early and taking him out before work now - in winter when it is dark and the wind is howling and pouring with rain it is a very different prospect!
If I were you I would stick with cats as pets whilst you both work full time.
I appreciate what you say Kita, but I always wondered about the many other people who have dogs and work full time. I know there's dog walkers who can take them out through the day so thats a possibility. I have a feeling he was only barking as that was the first time we'd brought him back and we hadn't been in the house for long when we had to leave him. Otherwise he's extremely quiet - doesn't say a thing.
Paraffin - I agree with you about the pecking order! My friend has 3 cats and got a dog some time ago and he was shown who was boss pretty quickly and never really bothered them after that! The cats would still be No 1 whatever happened - they wouldn't allow it any other way!!
Rinkins - arghh, you've made me feel all nice and warm about it now!!
I think its because I haven't had anything to stop me from going out and doing whatever previously, so I'm worried about it now. The thing is, I don't actually go out that often it has to be said!! And yes, I may call into a pub sometimes, but then again, there's pubs that allow dogs in or places where you can sit outside with them. And before anyone tells me off, no I wouldn't get drunk in charge of a dog!
Keep the comments coming!
Paraffin - I agree with you about the pecking order! My friend has 3 cats and got a dog some time ago and he was shown who was boss pretty quickly and never really bothered them after that! The cats would still be No 1 whatever happened - they wouldn't allow it any other way!!
Rinkins - arghh, you've made me feel all nice and warm about it now!!
I think its because I haven't had anything to stop me from going out and doing whatever previously, so I'm worried about it now. The thing is, I don't actually go out that often it has to be said!! And yes, I may call into a pub sometimes, but then again, there's pubs that allow dogs in or places where you can sit outside with them. And before anyone tells me off, no I wouldn't get drunk in charge of a dog!
Keep the comments coming!
Oh, and by the way he probably sleeps all night at the moment because he has been running around in the kennels all day, when dogs are in a kennel situation with other dogs next to them they are mostly awake/alert all day.
If he spent the day sleeping at home he would almost certainly be much more active at night when you were home.
Would it not be possible for your husband to take him to work with him after you adopted him?
If he spent the day sleeping at home he would almost certainly be much more active at night when you were home.
Would it not be possible for your husband to take him to work with him after you adopted him?
You'll have to be careful with him leaving him for short periods of time at first and then a bit longer - even starting wtih putting him in another room for 10 minutes. It takes a lot of patience and time and because he has been in kennels it will have different effects on him that if you had had him as a pup. The crate might be too scray for him. I wanted to try it but they are a big expense if it doesn't work. My GSD has a severe fear of thunderstorms and fireworks which I assume is because he was stuck in a kennel for a while but I know is not necessarily the case. Good luck xx I hope it works out for you x
He'd be left from around 8am until 5.30pm. Husband ususally gets weekdays off (2) so would only be 3 days left as obviously I'd be off at the weekends. I've thought about that before - hubby taking him to work - might be an option ... surely they'd rather he gets a lovely home even if he has to come back to the kennels through the day? I think I'm almost persuading myself here!!
What vaccinations are dogs meant to get and are these expensive (I think I know the answer to the last one ...!)?
What vaccinations are dogs meant to get and are these expensive (I think I know the answer to the last one ...!)?
You may have to see how he gets on going back to the kennels, it might spook him?!
Your best bet is to find a local recommended vet and ask them directly. Then you may wish to consider insurance (which don't cover jabs by the way).
You might also want to consider what you would do with him if you went on holiday - he'd be back in kennels? I suppose a lot of his reaction to kennels is going to depend on how long he has been at the RSPCA and his past.
Your best bet is to find a local recommended vet and ask them directly. Then you may wish to consider insurance (which don't cover jabs by the way).
You might also want to consider what you would do with him if you went on holiday - he'd be back in kennels? I suppose a lot of his reaction to kennels is going to depend on how long he has been at the RSPCA and his past.
Hi again Buffymad:
You really are in a quandary, poor thing.
In an ideal world, we could spend every waking hour with our pets, if we wanted to. But that is not the case and, yes, there are times when the vast majority of us has to leave them unattended. That's just life.
It doesn't mean to say that that is a reason for not having a dog, otherwise many thousands in the UK would not have a home. My wife and I have been in the situation where both of us had to work full time, albeit I was a shift worker, and there were occasions where our dogs at the time were without us for several hours now and again. You get around that simply by ensuring that they're exercised as close to your departure as possible, and when you get home. They are very resilient creatures.
I personally would never contemplate leaving mine in a crate. It's akin to imprisonment, although others will disagree, this is my point of view. My reasoning is that I have invited the dog to share my home, not to be locked in a box in it. We once had a cocker spaniel who gouged one side of a door with his claws because we'd left him for a few hours. Pain in the bum? Yes, but we sanded down the door and repainted it.
If we invite a dog into our home we should do so out of love for it and be prepared for the odd "indiscretion". After all, it's only their way of protesting for our "desertion". But by bunging them into a crate is not only barbaric, it's a sure sign that you've no trust or respect for an animal who only wants you to love it.
Incidentally, we've always been able to leave any of our dogs and cats for short periods without finding dead bodies on our return. They actually get to like, sometimes love, one another.
You really are in a quandary, poor thing.
In an ideal world, we could spend every waking hour with our pets, if we wanted to. But that is not the case and, yes, there are times when the vast majority of us has to leave them unattended. That's just life.
It doesn't mean to say that that is a reason for not having a dog, otherwise many thousands in the UK would not have a home. My wife and I have been in the situation where both of us had to work full time, albeit I was a shift worker, and there were occasions where our dogs at the time were without us for several hours now and again. You get around that simply by ensuring that they're exercised as close to your departure as possible, and when you get home. They are very resilient creatures.
I personally would never contemplate leaving mine in a crate. It's akin to imprisonment, although others will disagree, this is my point of view. My reasoning is that I have invited the dog to share my home, not to be locked in a box in it. We once had a cocker spaniel who gouged one side of a door with his claws because we'd left him for a few hours. Pain in the bum? Yes, but we sanded down the door and repainted it.
If we invite a dog into our home we should do so out of love for it and be prepared for the odd "indiscretion". After all, it's only their way of protesting for our "desertion". But by bunging them into a crate is not only barbaric, it's a sure sign that you've no trust or respect for an animal who only wants you to love it.
Incidentally, we've always been able to leave any of our dogs and cats for short periods without finding dead bodies on our return. They actually get to like, sometimes love, one another.
Hi yet again buffymad:
I've just seen your 8am-5.30pm: that's miles too long to leave a doggie. Forget it unless your hubby can take him to work, seems like a good idea, or you at least have someone trustworthy to give him a really good walk and a bit of a fuss during the above hours.
In fact, the idea of your hubby taking him with him is by far and away the best solution. He'd be bored rigid otherwise. I can't see why the doggie would have an adverse reaction if he was with hubby back at the kennels? It would at least be familiar territory for him.
I've just seen your 8am-5.30pm: that's miles too long to leave a doggie. Forget it unless your hubby can take him to work, seems like a good idea, or you at least have someone trustworthy to give him a really good walk and a bit of a fuss during the above hours.
In fact, the idea of your hubby taking him with him is by far and away the best solution. He'd be bored rigid otherwise. I can't see why the doggie would have an adverse reaction if he was with hubby back at the kennels? It would at least be familiar territory for him.
Thanks Paraffin. Definitely gonna ask my hubby if he could take him with him to work.
I kind of agree about the crate - have never used one in the past (had a dog when I was younger) - only really heard about them lately to be honest!
And any animal in our house will always rule the roost - furniture, carpets etc just don't get a look in. So glad I'm not a Mrs Bucket type of person and extremely houseproud!
I kind of agree about the crate - have never used one in the past (had a dog when I was younger) - only really heard about them lately to be honest!
And any animal in our house will always rule the roost - furniture, carpets etc just don't get a look in. So glad I'm not a Mrs Bucket type of person and extremely houseproud!
It is far to long to leave a dog - and definately not in a crate! Imagine in the hot weather we have had recently, not even being able to move around to a cooler place in the house.
As regards leaving cats and dogs together, yes normally the cats will just get out of the way and things will be fine, BUT my next door neighbour had cats, a dog and a rabbit. One day whilst she was at work the dog somehow managed to knock the TV off its stand and it landed on one of the cats, trapping its back end. By the time she got home the cat was dead, she never knew how long the poor cat had layed there in agony. You cannot always predict what animals will do or the situations they will find themselves in.
As your cats are quite old and the dog has already become 'excited' when he sees them I just fear that they might not be able to get out of the way as fast one day and if you are not there to intervene - well one of them may get injured and if you are not home for a few hours the animal may suffer.
As regards leaving cats and dogs together, yes normally the cats will just get out of the way and things will be fine, BUT my next door neighbour had cats, a dog and a rabbit. One day whilst she was at work the dog somehow managed to knock the TV off its stand and it landed on one of the cats, trapping its back end. By the time she got home the cat was dead, she never knew how long the poor cat had layed there in agony. You cannot always predict what animals will do or the situations they will find themselves in.
As your cats are quite old and the dog has already become 'excited' when he sees them I just fear that they might not be able to get out of the way as fast one day and if you are not there to intervene - well one of them may get injured and if you are not home for a few hours the animal may suffer.
Something that has not been mentioned, I presume your husband brings dogs home occasionally because either they do not have room or they need some special treatment? How would this affect any future dogs he needed to bring home? I think it would be better to find the dog a home where he can be with someone most of the time, and leave your home free to accept other temporary visitors, which might not be the case if you had the dog at yours all the time. Although many dogs get on, once a dog (particularly a male) establishes his 'territory' it can be hard for him to accept other dogs coming into his area.
As for crates, they are an absolute godsend for house training or if you need to leave a dog for SHORT periods to keep them safe from chewing or damaging either your home or themselves, but they are not a substitute for a human being there to see to them. They are also very useful in a car, or if you have to stay with family or friends or at a hotel etc., as you know they cannot cause any mess or damage. They are also useful for puppies to have somewhere to get away from children who want to play constantly with them, or from older dogs who won't tolerate a puppy all the time.
As for crates, they are an absolute godsend for house training or if you need to leave a dog for SHORT periods to keep them safe from chewing or damaging either your home or themselves, but they are not a substitute for a human being there to see to them. They are also very useful in a car, or if you have to stay with family or friends or at a hotel etc., as you know they cannot cause any mess or damage. They are also useful for puppies to have somewhere to get away from children who want to play constantly with them, or from older dogs who won't tolerate a puppy all the time.
I agree with most of the sentiments that people have posed, but would like to add a little bit of positive thought...
My dog is left from 8am till 5.30. She was 7 when I got her so she was a more settled dog - I wouldnt dream of getting a puppy unless I was at home. If I have to work longer hours she is still fine. What a lot of people forget is that a dog has to go overnight without a wee, so whats the difference? If you go to bed at 10pm and get up at 7am that is 9 hours......
However she is extremely tying and although you can for the the "quick" drink after work... you certainly couldn't get wrapped up in conversation and stay out till closing.
As for staying overnight - that does depend on the temperament of your dog - if staying with good friends with no kids or pets, then as long as they are fine then take them with you..... otherwise find a local kennels that will take them 24/48hours - it is possible.
Pets are supposed to enhance your life... not rule it.
And as for the statement that the dog will chew your house to pieces - this depends on whether the dog chews or not - you will already know that! My dog has never chewed anything (except the stupid cat that came into the garden!!)
Anyhow - if your hubby can take the dog to work - its a win win situation :-)
My dog is left from 8am till 5.30. She was 7 when I got her so she was a more settled dog - I wouldnt dream of getting a puppy unless I was at home. If I have to work longer hours she is still fine. What a lot of people forget is that a dog has to go overnight without a wee, so whats the difference? If you go to bed at 10pm and get up at 7am that is 9 hours......
However she is extremely tying and although you can for the the "quick" drink after work... you certainly couldn't get wrapped up in conversation and stay out till closing.
As for staying overnight - that does depend on the temperament of your dog - if staying with good friends with no kids or pets, then as long as they are fine then take them with you..... otherwise find a local kennels that will take them 24/48hours - it is possible.
Pets are supposed to enhance your life... not rule it.
And as for the statement that the dog will chew your house to pieces - this depends on whether the dog chews or not - you will already know that! My dog has never chewed anything (except the stupid cat that came into the garden!!)
Anyhow - if your hubby can take the dog to work - its a win win situation :-)
Cannot believe what you've come out with, devilspawn:
"positive thought" = leaving your dog on her own for at least nine and a half hours.
"if I have to work longer hours she is still fine." You've obviously asked her and she said that, did she?
"a dog has to go overnight without a wee" Only because that's what you have decided - not her.
"she is extremely tying" Did she ask to be owned by you?
"Pets are supposed to enhance your life - not rule it." Does your dog know and understand that point of view?
You are one disgrace who isn't fit to call yourself a pet lover. Your poor dog must be bored rigid being left home alone for virtually half a day at a time. She must be a superb dog who deserves a loving and caring owner, not one who finds her "extremely tying". Why have her in the first place? And I sincerely hope she has "enhanced" your miserable life, and hasn't dared to "rule" you. I shudder to think what she'd say if she could talk. I know it wouldn't be polite.
The RSPCA should know about your kind. You do not deserve to have a dog, you selfish individual. Shame on you.
"positive thought" = leaving your dog on her own for at least nine and a half hours.
"if I have to work longer hours she is still fine." You've obviously asked her and she said that, did she?
"a dog has to go overnight without a wee" Only because that's what you have decided - not her.
"she is extremely tying" Did she ask to be owned by you?
"Pets are supposed to enhance your life - not rule it." Does your dog know and understand that point of view?
You are one disgrace who isn't fit to call yourself a pet lover. Your poor dog must be bored rigid being left home alone for virtually half a day at a time. She must be a superb dog who deserves a loving and caring owner, not one who finds her "extremely tying". Why have her in the first place? And I sincerely hope she has "enhanced" your miserable life, and hasn't dared to "rule" you. I shudder to think what she'd say if she could talk. I know it wouldn't be polite.
The RSPCA should know about your kind. You do not deserve to have a dog, you selfish individual. Shame on you.
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