County Court ABH adjourned for med. records, what next?

[Zobird]

My ex has just been in county court today up for an assualt charge on me for fractured ribs. It has been adjourned for 6 weeks as they need my medical records when I went to A&E for an x-ray.
He is already on a charge for assault (not me) on a minor (14yr old) and doing community service. He is pleading guilty for what he has done to me and is very remorseful etc.
What is the possible outcome once he goes back to court? We want to get back together and try again, counselling/anger management etc, will the judge take this into account?
Thank you.....

[Barmaid]

Before I answer, I note you said "County Court". If these are criminal charges, it should be Magistrates Court. If these are family proceedings (unders say a Non Molestation Order) it would be County Court. Can you confirm which they are since the outcomes are quite different.

[Zobird]

Sorry, I meant crown court. The CPS are prosecuting, not me or the police.....

[Barmaid]

As the victim, your views should be taken into account. However, I have to say, I think a custodial sentence is quite likely.

What I suggest you do before the sentencing hearing is write to the Judge. Tell him you want to be together and you will support your other half. Explain he is remorseful, explain you still love him. RESEARCH anger management and counselling courses and see if your partner will agree to go on them (although Probation may well offer something). You should give your partner a copy of this letter for the Probation officer who does the pre sentence report so he can take it into account.

With your support, the Judge just may impose a suspended sentence, but it can't be guaranteed (especially with previous for violence).

[Zobird]

Thank you, that's very helpful. If he went on a course before the hearing, would that help more do you think to show he wants to change etc? I also have a 7yr old child, my partner is not the father, will this have a bearing? We all used to live together before this happened. He is on probation now and not meant to be allowed contact with me so is living elsewhere.

[jackthehat]

Barmaid...........could we borrow you in 'Property' for a minute, please ?

The thread is 'neighbours'...........thankyou, an sorry for butting in, Zobird.

[Panic Button]

I apologise if this comment is unwelcome, but why do you want to get back with a man with proven violent tendencies?

Surely you know it will happen again?

[Zobird]

He is 30. One previous offence with the 14yr old. He was helping out the owner of a property that had been vandalised and the group of youths were hanging around and being rowdy. My ex asked to speak to the youth's Dad who instead gave him some verbal, hit out at him so my ex retaliated.

Panic button - I believe in second chances and that he will change with help and support.

[paraffin]

Zobird:
Please don't take this as a negative either but Panic Button does have a valid point.

You said: "I believe in second chances and that he will change with help and support."

Forgive me, but hasn't he already had that following his first conviction for violence? Now he's been charged with another similar offence. The reasons why he saw fit to use physical violence are largely irrelevant, he has done this at least twice now, and who knows how many other times for which he wasn't charged/convicted?

What kind of "help and support" do you think could prevent him from doing this sort of thing again? For I'm sure that he has possibly been given that over the years? And if so, it hasn't "cured" him, has it? There is no magical solution.

Unfortunately, the expression "a leopard doesn't change its spots" might be apt in relation to this guy.

I realise that you will in all probability disagree with me but that would be because of your emotional involvement. I have no such burden to cloud my judgement.

Ask yourself this: "Can I honestly trust him never to lay a finger on me again?" Unless you can categorically answer "yes", you should seriously consider your position.

I'm sorry if this has been uncomfortable reading for you and I sincerely hope you make the right decision: for your sake, not his.

[samantha17]

Hi, please dont take offence to this but i have briefly read through this tread. I have been in an abusive relationship before and now have managed to get away from this, I pressed charges after my now ex boyfriend beat me up and I now see how stupid I was staying with him, putting up with all the heart ache and upset he put me through & constantly trying to change him into a nicer person....Trust me you can not change a person, for a man to beat you up full stop is wrng he shouldnt lay a finger on you but so much that he broke your ribs he does not deserve a second chance he must b wrong in the head, sick and a nasty person...best thing you can do is get rid of him and get with someone who treats you right!! yes it will be hard but believe me give it a little time then you will meet someone who will make you hapy and wonder why you ever gave him the time of day!! x