Who pays for big Stag party?

[pagey]

Hi,

I'm the best man and have the task of arranging the bachelor / stag party.

Before I tell you my intentions, I will say I've looked all over the internet and some sites explicitly say the groom pays (a UK site). Others say it is up to the attendees, others say the groom's father may pay etc etc, so Im getting confused.

So, my plan is to arrange an evening in London which would include everyone. I expect it to cost around 150-200 pounds per person. I don't think it is unreasonable that everyone coming pays their own way for this, pooling a bit to pay for the groom. I expect 10-15 people will attend, including the fathers of the bride and groom. This will be a fun evening, but not too OTT. I am planning bar, restaurant, club and stripclub. As the cost is not too excessive, I would like to think everyone invited will attend with no 'issues' over self-funding.

It gets more complicated... The groom has hinted he would like to go to Vegas. Again, I am all for it myself. With an estimated cost of 1000 pounds per person going there (it's 530 for the flights alone), it can only be for a selected few. Four of us, including the groom, basically. We will leave the morning after the night in London and this will be a lot more of a surprise than the London night. I shrugged it off a bit when the groom mentioned Vegas to avoid disappointment if it doesn't happen and add to the surprise if it does.

So, who pays what?! The groom would probably pay for everything if he knew he could get his wish to go to Vegas for his stag party, but I can't exactly openly discuss it with him if it is going to remain a secret. I am also not sure if the other two of us will be able to afford it.

If it is common for the groom or his father to contribute, how do I approach them about it? If help with funding is a no-no, how do I trade-off the exclusion of close friends that cannot afford it with the groom

[marval]

Have a look at this, but I don't have a personal take on it.


http://www.tiscali.co.uk/events/weddings/featu res/before/who_pays_for_what.html

[pagey]

The last sentence was cut off...

how do I trade-off the exclusion of close friends that cannot afford it with the groom that would genuinely have the time of his life?

Thanks for the reply, marval. I like this plain and simple "groom pays" policy, but I feel I have to find some middle ground, such as the groom paying for the flights.

I will discuss it with others (maybe including the grooms parents), but I fear it won't remain a secret for long.

[gossipgirl]

i personally would expect everyone who is attending to fund themselves and chip in to pay for the groom........its his night he shouldnt be having to pay a penny.

[kira000]

For a day out, its reasonable for the friends to all chip in to cover all or some of the grroms costs.
However, if the groom wants to do something extravagant like going to Vegas, i think it would be unreasonable for him to expect them to pay for him. If he wants to do it that badly, i say talk to him, explain the costs, and ask him if he wants to do it. Yes, the going wont be a surprise, but you dont have to tell him the details of when you are going, where you are staying, and what you are doing there...