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Shall we start a Mother in Law thread.
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Anybody know any good Mother in Law jokes ?.
Answers
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Here you go, tony :0)
Q: What does a mil call her broom?
A: Basic transportation.
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL?
A: Sir, we were able to save her!
My MIL said to me, "I'll dance on your grave." I said, "I hope you do. I'm being buried at sea."
Q: What is the ideal weight for a MIL?
A: About 2.3lbs, including the urn.
Q: How do you stop your MIL from drowning?
A: Take your foot off her head.
Q: What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot her again.
Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a MIL?
A: One's a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other one is a fish!
I bought my MIL a chair for Christmas, but she wouldn't plug it in.
My MIL is so big, we had to stop buying her Malcolm X tee shirts, because helicopters kept trying to land on her.
Q: What does a mil call her broom?
A: Basic transportation.
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL?
A: Sir, we were able to save her!
My MIL said to me, "I'll dance on your grave." I said, "I hope you do. I'm being buried at sea."
Q: What is the ideal weight for a MIL?
A: About 2.3lbs, including the urn.
Q: How do you stop your MIL from drowning?
A: Take your foot off her head.
Q: What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot her again.
Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a MIL?
A: One's a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other one is a fish!
I bought my MIL a chair for Christmas, but she wouldn't plug it in.
My MIL is so big, we had to stop buying her Malcolm X tee shirts, because helicopters kept trying to land on her.
Tony,
I am exceptionally lucky, as my mother in law lives over in San Diego, USA, so dont get to see her too frequently, but STILL frequently enough,..................imagine Kim Cattrall from Sex and the City mixed in Hyacinth Bouquet's "keepin' up with the jones's" ways, and you have an idea what she's like.
On the plus side, she has aged really well, is very pretty ( no surgery at all, which is rare ) and DOES make me laugh!
yogi :0)
I am exceptionally lucky, as my mother in law lives over in San Diego, USA, so dont get to see her too frequently, but STILL frequently enough,..................imagine Kim Cattrall from Sex and the City mixed in Hyacinth Bouquet's "keepin' up with the jones's" ways, and you have an idea what she's like.
On the plus side, she has aged really well, is very pretty ( no surgery at all, which is rare ) and DOES make me laugh!
yogi :0)
-- answer removed --
Thank You Honey
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”
“My darling,” he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”
“My darling,” he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”
1 to 20 of 20
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