ChatterBank3 mins ago
The Friday Thread
13 Answers
OK, let's have some fun. It's POETS day. What do we all have planned for the weekend? Anyone doing Halloween? Anyone got any good jokes?
(You might have guessed that I appear to have mislaid my motivation again)
(You might have guessed that I appear to have mislaid my motivation again)
Answers
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You're right about it being POETS day - well, the POE works for me!! grrrrrr....
Anyway, tomorrow is a trip to Blackpool to see the lights - even though I say every year we won't be going ever again. The little one's so scared of anything Halloween so it might be a better alternative.. I'm still not convinced tho! :p
Have a good weekend, BM x
Anyway, tomorrow is a trip to Blackpool to see the lights - even though I say every year we won't be going ever again. The little one's so scared of anything Halloween so it might be a better alternative.. I'm still not convinced tho! :p
Have a good weekend, BM x
I am at a work colleague's leaving do tonight (see this morning thread) and tomorrow Tara-ra-bum-ti-eh is having a Halloween Fancy Dress Party. I am going as Morticia from the Addams Family (please; no comments about not having to bother with the make-up & hair...) and Cap'n Pug is going wrapped in a white ghoul sheet and mask with a cushion strapped to his stomach - he's going as a Phantom Pregnancy.
Sunday? Recovery Day - goes without saying really!
Sunday? Recovery Day - goes without saying really!
10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren't...
1. So...What'd you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!
1. So...What'd you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!
A Panda walks into a restaurant. The waiter takes the Panda's order.
When the order is ready, the waiter takes it to the Panda. The Panda eats the meal, pulls out a gun, shoots the waiter and runs out of the restaurant.
The owner of the restaurant goes running after the Panda. When the restaurant owner finally catches up to the Panda, he asks, "Why did you shoot the waiter?" The Panda tells the owner to look up 'Panda' in the dictionary.
The owner goes back to the restaurant and looks up 'Panda' in the dictionary. Under 'Panda' it says: Eats shoots and leaves.
When the order is ready, the waiter takes it to the Panda. The Panda eats the meal, pulls out a gun, shoots the waiter and runs out of the restaurant.
The owner of the restaurant goes running after the Panda. When the restaurant owner finally catches up to the Panda, he asks, "Why did you shoot the waiter?" The Panda tells the owner to look up 'Panda' in the dictionary.
The owner goes back to the restaurant and looks up 'Panda' in the dictionary. Under 'Panda' it says: Eats shoots and leaves.
Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.
8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave it to you.
6. Person you are with doesn't fantasize you're someone else, you already are.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last nine months.
4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.
1. If you don't get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.
8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave it to you.
6. Person you are with doesn't fantasize you're someone else, you already are.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last nine months.
4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.
1. If you don't get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!
Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Men
1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.
2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a better pie.
4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!
5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.
6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.
7. From the start you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head to begin with.
8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be.
1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.
2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a better pie.
4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!
5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.
6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.
7. From the start you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head to begin with.
8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be.
Mischief Night - Do they still do this "oop North"? When I lived in the Midlands, it seemed to just consist of "knock-a-door-run" and taking peoples garden gates off. A few mates and me even did my own gates one year!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mischief_night
it's tonight.....watch out garden gates!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mischief_night
it's tonight.....watch out garden gates!
It,s Poet's day they tell me here,
Halloween weekend, so raise a cheer.
Tonight after dark
There's a rave in the park,
Will go , with my own cans of Stella,
If things go right ,
and it's a dark enough night,
maybe I'll end up with a fella.
There'll be goblins and ghosties
and some picketing posties
Witches and , monsters and all
I' m really excited
and you're all invited
Want to ?
Just give me a call.
Love .brenda.
Halloween weekend, so raise a cheer.
Tonight after dark
There's a rave in the park,
Will go , with my own cans of Stella,
If things go right ,
and it's a dark enough night,
maybe I'll end up with a fella.
There'll be goblins and ghosties
and some picketing posties
Witches and , monsters and all
I' m really excited
and you're all invited
Want to ?
Just give me a call.
Love .brenda.
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