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Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar, the barman says "Is this some kind of joke?"

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bobjugs12 | 12:43 Wed 03rd Mar 2010 | ChatterBank
27 Answers
Ladies and Gents, just for gigles please regale us with your worst jokes, your bad-taste jokes, your down-right disgusting jokes and your lame jokes.

I'm sure the AB Stasi will be watching so they can moderate and remove anything that they deem inappropriate.
So lets crack on!!!

I'll start with a lame one just to get the ball rolling:
What goes green, red, ping?
A frog in a microwave
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Just got back from the hospital. They think I might have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis but at the moment its hard to say.
What do Dane Bowers, Peter Andre, Alex Reid, Dwight York and Yasser Arafat all have in common??? Answer....they all pulled out of Jordan.
A man in his 90's, for a Special Birthday Gift from his Grandsons, is sent a Stripper to his home to entertain him. After she rings the bell of his home, she informs him that his grandsons sent her as a special birthday gift, to provide her services.

The grandfather asks her, " What do you do?" She said ,"I can provide you "Sup-er Sex". “He says, “Look, I'm 98 years old, I'll take the Soup!"
I still haven't got my prize !!
WHAT! this is a family site!....Anyway, i'm off to Arts & Literature to answer McFluffys 'How easy is it to have sex with a stranger' question....
^ doh its not mcfluffys Q.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field. The Englishman says "Look at that fine English cow." The Irishman disagreed, saying "No, it's an Irish cow." The Scotsman thought for a moment and then clinched the argument. "No, it's a Scottish cow -look it's got a set of bagpipes underneath."
A Bhuddist went to the dentist and refused novocaine for his treatment. He wanted to transcend dental medication!
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A bra walks into a bar. Barman says "Oi, you, out."
The bra asks why and the barman says "You're off your t1ts"

:)
Booldag.... i already know the answer

what's yellow and dangerous?

shark infested custard
An alien walks into a bar. Barman sats"we don't serve aliens here" Alien says"will you serve me if I buy everyone here a drink?" Barman agrees and alien orders doubles for everyone. Barman says "That'll be £492- 79 please" - Alien turns around to revellers and shouts "Anyone got change for a Zog?"
whats the difference between a letterbox and an elephant? dont know? then i wont be asking you to post my letters!!
what do you get after 5 days of passionate love making? a weekend off course
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!

But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso popped out!

The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms popped out!

The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.

By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs popped out.

The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.

The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."
-- answer removed --
A white horse entered a bar
"Good Lord " said the landord "I stock a whisky,named after you"
"What Eric ?" replied the horse.
I visited a cats home the other day and 10 walked pass me. All were growing either a beard or moustache except for 2. I asked the owner why and they replied "It's because 8 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskers.
bar of gold walks into a bar barman says A U get out!
and one for the kids........Whats got a bottom at the top of it? a leg
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A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on a beach.
Along come three beautiful, nubile blonds who take pity on the man.
The first blond says to the man "Have you ever been hugged?", "No" says the man so she hugs him.

The second girl asks him "Have you ever been kissed", "No" says the man, so she kisses him.

The third asks him "Have you ever been screwed?", "No" says the man with a grin on his face, so she points out to sea and says "You are now, the tides coming in!"
What's brown and sticky?












.......A stick!!!

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