please don't label this as a me, me, me thread...just I am a bit sad this morning

[Bobbisox]

I have had a cry for the lovely gentle sister I have in New Zealand and have dried the tears to remember her fondly and with much love, I have received a email from her husbands daughter (she was widowed when she lived all her married life in Kent) who has been looking for me, my sister is in the latter stages of Dementia and can only recognize photos of people and not their names.
She spent most of retirement years working for the Salvation Army to contact missing people, she is the most gentle of ladies anywhere.x
Thanks for letting me talk about this, I know the cruelty of Dementia has effected a few on here with their loved ones, so for that reason alone, I feel for you x

Bobbi x

[stokemaveric]

hope you are ok bobbi,its awful when our family is suffering big hugs to you xxx

[Bobbisox]

I am fine now stokey, had a cry for the sister I have in effect lost I suppose, but it is nice to be able to talk about it
thanks

[NoMercy]

So sorry to hear this, bobbi. It is indeed a cruel disease. XX

[Bobbisox]

Morning NM, yes it is and I feel for the people who are going through it with loved ones , I am detached as I am not in NZ but never the less I feel very sad for her x

[pastafreak]

Awww hun!...I can only guess how you must feel....that has to be the cruelest way to 'lose' someone.
(((HUGS)))

[Bobbisox]

yes pasta, but I remember the wicked soh she had and the gentle "Come here and tell me all about it" she used to say, she is 15 yrs older than me so she was working when I was born,

[brenda]

Bobbi -- I feel for you ,I do really. Have first hand experience of this with my OH, who has had dementia now for 10 years. It is a cruel illness, which robs a person of their life , their skills and their friends.
Photos are a wonderful way of trying to keep in touch , as is music old songs and so on.
The hardest part for me caring for someone with dementia is knowing that whatever I do , or try I can never win , and make things well again. It has taken me a long time to accept this and even now I can't accept the situation fully.
You may find the situation hard to accept as well,so my thoughts are with you , sincerely Brenda.

[Bobbisox]

morning Brenda, yes I feel for all you who have to deal with this cruel illness, I am by no means alone I know...it is just easier to let things out..than not, if you know what I mean x

[NoMercy]

I'm probably going to get shot down for this, but in many ways I think it's far worse for the loved ones than the actual sufferer. They don't seem to know what's going on, but those around them have to watch the gradual decline knowing that it is no longer the person they've loved all those years.

[Bobbisox]

I am total aggreement there NM, my sister is probably blissfully unaware of bad things in her life, sadly she doesn't know she has a family and sisters/brother x

[TheOtherHalf]

LOts of hugs to you Bobbi xxxxx

My 94 year old m in law has alkseimers so I am in agreement that my husband and I are suffering more than her as she is blissfully unaware.
But you must feel awful as you say you feel as if youve lost a sister and this is in a way a form of grieving, so let it out

[Bobbisox]

yes I am TOH, because I know I will now, never see my sister again...
very kind of you x

[boxtops]

Thinking of you bobbi - sharing what NoM wisely says, your sis probably doesn't know you are there, but you know she is - and family ties and memories are so important. You will always have those memories. ♥

[NoMercy]

How long is it since you last saw her? x

[Bobbisox]

about nine years ago NM x

[Bobbisox]

I hope no one thinks I am asking for pity/ sympathy, no way!
I just wanted to chat thats all :o)

[pastafreak]

TBPH...maybe you are better off NOT to have seen her recently. You will then have only pleasant memories of her. Those of us who have lost loved ones to illnesses like cancer have those memories with us forever...and they can get in the way of all the good ones. xx

[NoMercy]

Sometimes it's easier that way, Bobbi. You can remember her how she was the last time you saw her.

When Tony's daughter died, he refused to see her in the Chapel of Rest. He said he only wanted to picture her the last time he saw her, coming out of the restaurant on her birthday with balloons in her hand. I can kind of understand that.

It must be very painful for you, hun. x

[Bobbisox]

you are all very right, I have wonderful memories of her and her gentle ways which no one can take from me, I suppose I am mourning the loss of my sister ♥

[Greedyfly]

Dementia is a horrible disease. It is heartbreaking knowing and loving the person in front of you and them having no clue who you are.

I feel for anyone who has to go through this.