Cooperisms...brilliant...

[Bobbisox]

I thought the man was a genius, so gawky and funny and he died where he loved being...on stage

1 . Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
'No, the steaks are too high.'

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

7 . A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.

8. I went to a seafood disco last week.and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

[daftgrandad]

Hi bobbi
Yes indeed,a really genuinely funny man.

[Bobbisox]

Hi dg, he was so funny and had me laughing with the simplicity of his one liners, not for him the smut and filthy language used by many so called comedians today

[Polly1958]

Put that light out Florence it's getting on me wick!Don't know if it was Tommy but i think it's funny.

[Bobbisox]

hello Polly, I think it was..lol

[McMouse]

Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.

'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'

[Bobbisox]

ha-ha McM...x

[redman41]

A very funny man Bobbi, clearly a one off. One of my elderly neighbours used to live in the South of England including London when she was younger as she was a professional Pianist and she knew Tommy Cooper quite well. Sadly he suffered from depression when off stage and although he was married had a mistress as well.

[Bobbisox]

yes I heard that red, his wife had a odd name as I recall?

[redman41]

His personal assistant Mary Kay was his mistress for many years Bobbi as far as I can gather. She was on the road a lot with him so I suppose his wife knew about it !

[McMouse]

'Went to the doctors - he said "You've got four minutes to live" I said "Is there anything you can give me?" He said "A boiled egg?"'

[Bobbisox]

shurrruppp McM you crack me up....pmsl
yes but what was his wifes name again..arghhhhhhhhhh!

[redman41]

His wife was Welsh and he used to cal her Dove if I remember correctly

[Sqad]

Yes fabulous guy.

He was also a heavy drinker.....bottle of whisky a day.
He was also, allegedly, tight with his money.

[rowanwitch]

Gwen

[redman41]

Yes Rowan you are correct I remember now ! x

[McMouse]

I went to the doctors with a jelly stuck in one ear and custard in the other. The doctor asked, 'what seems to be the problem?' I said 'you have to speak up, I'm a trifle deaf.'

[Bobbisox]

Gwen...
I'm disappointed rowan I thought she was a Fanny or something...

[Bobbisox]

arh yes, chic murray another good comedian

[rowanwitch]

His mum was a Gertrude though