Help for split families

[Barmaid]

Ok, I am able to google, what I was hoping for is some personal recommendations. We have a situation here where my FH's ex is creating sheer bloody hell. The Court stuff I can do so when necessary. The trouble is, this is having a massive impact on two very innocent, very confused children who are now subject to significant manipulation (to the extent that they are reluctant to see dad - the stuff one of them came out with last weekend was appalling). Can anyone suggest any websites or books etc for pastoral advice? We need to be able to talk to these kids and try and persuade them that there is no "fault" and that we all need to get along and they are both very cherished, despite the ex doing her level best to persuade them that daddy doesn't love them or care about them - the latest being "you don't love us because you haven't got a job and you don't pay for us".

I just feel we could both do with some pointers on trying to settle the children back down. The onus is on us because she will never stop. I've never heard the little boy say such things and to see the little girl reluctant to spend time with dad nearly broke my heart.

[DEN53]

Evening Barmaid - what about contacting Parentline for advice. I am guessing the children are quite young. Does'nt sound like the mother is very approachable, but I think I would have to put her straight first.

[DEN53]

http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/


Sorry, forgot the link.

[Barmaid]

that's very helpful Den, thank you. Looks like a good site. I might call them when I've got some time alone. As for putting her straight much as I would like to, it's her way or the highway.

[dotty.]

my advice would be book a week at cenre parc for the october half-term,

[Barmaid]

We just did a week away Dotty! Can't afford to do that again (well not right now). And to be fair, I think that is part of the problem. We take kids on first holiday for years and then Sugar starts........

[dotty.]

ahhh, you can always rely on abit of good ole jealousy to unturn the apple cart!

[Barmaid]

I know. But the issue is the kids. I've had a look at the website Den gave me and there is some useful stuff on there. I'm going to call them. It's that or kill the cow!

[brenda]

Kill her first and then look at the site.

[zzxxee]

Can you not suggest that she comes over for a cuppa and the two of you talk?

[mazie]

I would be inclined to approach her and try and talk to her about the negative effect all this is having on her children. surely she must put the children first Barmaid?

[Mrsab]

firstly experience suggests women of such nature are not likely to change,their actions are attention seeking expeditions and unfortunately every time they hear about the consequences of their actions the worst it becomes.

the father needs to do the best he can in terms of supporting the kids, actions always speak louder than words especially when kids are concerned and unfortunately not having a job and not supporting the kids will always matter if that's the case.