Where do our fears come from?

[Barmaid]

The FH and I were just talking about irrational fears. I have no idea where mine have come from.

My particular "issues" are:-

1) mildly claustrophobic. I hate any sort of enclosed space - even crowds can make me feel suddenly very ill with an overriding urge to get out of there. The thought of pot holing or anything like that makes me feel ill. I even start to feel quity queasy in our local shopping centre in the areas where the ceilings are really low. No idea why. The only thing I can put it down to is when I was very young (so young in fact, I was in my first bed in my parent's room so I must have been less than 2) I remember getting all wound up in the bedcovers and panicked.

2) Spiders. I grew up in an old house where enormous spiders were a regular occurrence. Neither mum or dad were fussed by them at all. So why do I have a terrible fear? Having said that I can deal with the most enormous spider with a piece of tissue if my step daughter or sister are present (their arachnophobia is far worse than mine).

So where do we get our fears from?

[society]

From ignorance, naivety, not knowledgeable enough.

[Barmaid]

OK it should be *parents'* before the apostrophe police come through

[Buenchico]

Good evening, Barmaid.

I suspect that, if they were honest, most psychologists would probably say "We haven't really got a clue!".

However here's what the relevant NHS web page has to say on the subject:
http://www.nhs.uk/Con...ias/Pages/Causes.aspx

At least your phobias are about something which exists. My irrational fear (sedatephobia - fear of silence) relates to the absence of a sensation!

[ethandron]

i'm not very good at txt spk and the like, what's an FH?
i'd always thought that fears were learnt, even if we can't remember how we learnt them.

[micmak]

I think most fears are fed from others. Parents etc. As a child my mother would hide under the kitchen table (shaking like a leaf) when it thundered. It didn't rub off on me fortunately. She called me her brave boy .LOL

[society]

Did you see my post to you telling you what an exceptionally wonderful step-mum you are?

[micmak]

Ethandron FH = future husband.

[ethandron]

aaaah, thanks micmak, just couldn't work it out :o)

[Barmaid]

I suspect you are right Chris.

Ethandron, it's not text speak, it's my AB name for "Future Husband". I don't like "fiance" and "Other Half" is vaguely annoying too. And of course, he has been promoted from boyfriend now. lol

Yes I did thank you Society. I was mildly embarrassed (in a nice way), but I do want to do the best by them. I decided not to repost on that thread in case the ex wife witch from hell was snooping. And by that time of night I was ever so slightly drunk and extremely angry and emotional. We did go to see the police the next day and they showed me the CRIS report that said "no concerns. Parent doing as a parent ought to be, child upset at being told off". I also gave my stepdaughter the Childline number (again) so she can talk to someone independent. The FH is seeing Social Services tomorrow (he called them) in order to try and get the poor wee thing some counselling or help since I suspect a lot of this arises from the very acrimonious divorce. We've been in Court four times this year over things that normal sensible people should have been able to discuss!!!!

[KARL]

My personal impression is that a very large portion, perhaps all, can be identified as belonging to areas where insecurity arises, and that is of course a broad brush answer. However, if you think about it then it always seems to fit. Examples would be the person who worries incessantly about not looking well dressed - fear of criticism/ridicule by people (particularly peers). Another would be someone not wanting to speak to someone "important" - fear of seeming "small"/unrefined/etc. Worrying about health matters - fear of the future/unknown, will I suffer a horrible fate. This last one is a large category under which you put all the things where someone is a born worrier and chronically unsure of him/herself. Just my observation/impression.

[society]

Thanks for the update. I wondered what the outcome was.
I imagine it must be quite a hassle and inconvenience for both you and FH. After that incident I'd let the Dad and Mum sort the kids. Those kids are very luck to have you in her life. x

[karenmac60]

I get in a real panic when my face gets covered - either by the bedclothes or my daughter used to put her hand over my mouth to stop me saying something. I can't control myself - I had to make her stop doing it in case I hurt her by lashing out. I almost drowned twice when I was about 2 (I fell under in the bath and my dad had left the room, then just as I was getting over it my granny's dog knocked me into a freezing burn) and had a huge fear of water for years - I think this is the residual from it.

[MickyMacgraw]

There are some that think that phobias are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain barmaid which could explain those that suddenly happen without no obvious trauma.

[imhotep]

The only thing I fear the most is Thanatophobia.
I shudder even talking about it......!! :(

[MickyMacgraw]

This has a great list of many phobias.

http://phobialist.com/

There's some very strange ones indeed.

[society]

I think some confuse nervousness with fear.

[imhotep]

Yes, there are some strange kind of phobias around MickyMacgraw.
Especially the fear of the number 13.
Triskaidekaphobia (from Greek tris meaning "3," kai meaning "and," and deka meaning "10") is fear of the number 13; it is a superstition and related to a specific fear of Friday the 13th, called paraskevidekatriaphobia.
Phew!!! Try saying this phobia when you've had a few to drink!!!! =D