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Questions you must ask.
12 Answers
1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you undress?
2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the centre of the earth?
3. Why can't women put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob, I'm an alcoholic"?
5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a ***?
6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries?
Have a use by date?
9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?
10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
11. What do people in China call their best plates?
12. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.
13. What do you call male ballerinas?
15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?
16. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
17. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
19. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
20. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you still have to touch it?
21. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the centre of the earth?
3. Why can't women put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob, I'm an alcoholic"?
5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a ***?
6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries?
Have a use by date?
9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?
10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
11. What do people in China call their best plates?
12. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.
13. What do you call male ballerinas?
15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?
16. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
17. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
19. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
20. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you still have to touch it?
21. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
Answers
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The plate is often under the bowl in Chinese banquets (lived in Shanghai for 4 years)and been to many a meal having been the regional 'taipan' - they often judge your familiaity and time in the East by asking visitors to see how many peanuts or small mushrooms in a shrimp sauce you can pick up in thirty seconds. And it isnt easy for the newcomer.
Anyway, on the subject of chopsticks, thought you may like this (perhaps it ought to be over in jokes or religion and spirituality!
A Chinese Christian just died and went up to the Heaven. After an angel greeted him, the angel said, "Let me take you down to the Hell before we go inside the Heaven."
Once they were there, the Chinese saw a huge table full of a big feast. However, everybody around the table looked real sad and starving. He asked the angel why.
The angel said, "They only get a pair of 4-foot chopsticks and thus each one of them cannot feed oneself because the chopsticks are too long."
Then, they went back to the Heaven and went inside. Again, the Chinese saw a huge table full of a big feast just like that in the Hell and each person has a pair of 4-foot chopsticks too. However, strangely, everybody around the table looked happy and satisfied.
The angel explained, "Simple, here in Heaven each one feeds another with the chopsticks, unlike those selfish ones down there."
Anyway, on the subject of chopsticks, thought you may like this (perhaps it ought to be over in jokes or religion and spirituality!
A Chinese Christian just died and went up to the Heaven. After an angel greeted him, the angel said, "Let me take you down to the Hell before we go inside the Heaven."
Once they were there, the Chinese saw a huge table full of a big feast. However, everybody around the table looked real sad and starving. He asked the angel why.
The angel said, "They only get a pair of 4-foot chopsticks and thus each one of them cannot feed oneself because the chopsticks are too long."
Then, they went back to the Heaven and went inside. Again, the Chinese saw a huge table full of a big feast just like that in the Hell and each person has a pair of 4-foot chopsticks too. However, strangely, everybody around the table looked happy and satisfied.
The angel explained, "Simple, here in Heaven each one feeds another with the chopsticks, unlike those selfish ones down there."
1 to 12 of 12
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