Wedding speech

[Parsfan]

I have been drafted in a short notice to help with a groom's speech. Can anyone offer any good one-liners I can use, preferably clean(ish).

[heathfield]

You could start off by exclaiming ''Fornication!!'' That should get their attention. Then ''For n'occasion, such as this...etc!!''

[McMouse]

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

[lesblue]

He could start off with (and I'm calling the bride Jane):
"I was out one night, and I noticed a beautiful, elegant woman on the other side of the room. I thought: I adore that girl, she is lovely, one day she will be my wife."
"Unfortunately, things didnt work out with Sarah, so I turned my attention to Jane".
Whether you will get away with it is another matter!!

[pjgriffo]

A man never knows what real happiness is until he's married --but it's too late then.

[JonnyBoy12]

Man is incomplete until he is married.........then he is finished!

[pjgriffo]

Marriage is a great institution - but then who wants to live in an institution.

[sir.prize]

Weddings are always an emotional time.



Even the cake is in tiers!

[Parsfan]

Thanks for the suggestions. I suspect one or two of them will find their way into the final version.

[jd_here]

This is the second time today that I've stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand....

[WELSHYORKIE]

Could always use the one I used at my BILs wedding.

To the bride: His says his love for you stretches miles and miles but you're only going to get 6 inches at a time