Childrens Jokes

[ali_alic]

Any of you AB'ers know any goods childrens jokes. like

 

Q  What do you call a fish with no eyes? 

A : a Fsh

 

Q : What do you call a fly with no wings?

A :  a walk

 

etc etc  Cheers in advance

[Liefje]

This is toilet humour at it's youngest. Trust me though, kids (and drunk peopple) may laugh when said out loud at the right moment.

Knock Knock

Who's there

A diddup

A diddup who?

(i did a poo)

This goes down a storm on the playground.

[soozmac]

Q - what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A - a stick

or

Q - what's brown and sticky?

A - a stick

[pjm007]

Q. What do you call a donkey with three legs ?

A. A Wonkey.

There's an egg and a sausage in a frying pan, the egg says 'Cor, its hot in here' and the sausage says 'Blimey, a talking egg'

[pjm007]

There's two cows in a field, one said 'Moo', the other one said 'I was gonna say that'.

[pjm007]

There's two goldfish in a tank, one turned to the other and said 'How do we drive this thing ?'

[IggyB]

What did the grape say when someone trod on him?



He let out a little whine

[Jules001]

what do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer (no idea)

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs

Still no eye deer

[Kingaroo]

What lies on the bottom of the ocean and trembles?

A nervous wreck.

I don't know if this next one will work in the UK - do you have the same movie rating system we do in US?  G is for kids, PG for older kids, R is Restricted to those over 16.  With that prep....

Did you hear about the new pirate movie?  It's rated Aaarrrgh!

[Tommy G.]

Whats black and white and can be turned red at the click of a button?

A penguin in a blender.

[silly moo]

Do you want to hear a dirty joke ?
A man fell into a bag of soot.
Do you want to hear a clean joke ?
A man fell into a bag of flour.

[THECORBYLOON]

Two budgies sitting on a perch and one of them says "Can you smell fish?"

[THECORBYLOON]

You may not get this one. Two cows in a field, which one's been on holiday? The one that's just had the wee calf........

[ezapf]

Q Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?
A He wanted to see time fly.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
You don't have to cry about it.

[SteveD]

Knock, knock;

Who's there?

Nicholas.

Nicholas who?

Nicholas Girlsshouldn'tclimbtrees

[Artful]

Q: When is a door not a door?

A: When it's ajar.

 

Q; Do you want to hear the story about the dustbin?

A: It was empty.

[silly moo]

knock knock
who's there?
Isabel
Isabel who?
Isabel on a bike necessary?

[acw]

Further to soozmac's answer:

Q: What's brown and muddy?

A: Mud

 

My friend at school didn't get the point of "what's the difference" jokes, so made up her own to prove that they were ridiculous.  Perhaps it's a context thing, but she thus made up the joke that made us laugh more than any other.  You might think it's rubbish though.

 

Q: What's the difference between a tree and a bush?

A: One's a tree, and one's a bush.

[bernardo]

What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs is both the same!

How can you tell the difference between a sheep and a goat?
By looking at them!

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing Taxis!

Child: What's your favourite number?
Adult: Five.
Child: What's your favourite colour?
Adult: Green.
Child: What's your favourite animal?
Adult: Dog.
Child: I've never seen a green dog with five legs!

[ali_alic]

Very good guys, don't understand the dustbin one tho artful.....

Liked the Hailing taxis, cows in the field ..... will try them all out on the kids this weekend at the B'day party!!

Cheers ABers

[ALLO]

this is an a and b conversation so c your way out before d and e  f you up g .

thats a corny one i remember from middle school!!!!