Wife says she loves me and misses me but that she is not in love with me?

[yiddytheyid]

My wife of just over one year left me 9 weeks ago and I am a compleat mess because of it. We have been together for 11 years and I honestly thought we were soul mates, we had allways bickerd like most couples do and I never expected her to walk out on me as she never showed any signs that she was unhappy in our relationship. I believe she has had a break down due to loosing her mother from cancer 10 months ago she held her grief so well and then BANG!, basically we had a little argument the afternoon she walked out and hasn't returned since, I've wrote her a lovely letter saying how much I had learnt from our split and how things would be so much better if she would just give our marriage the chance I believe it deserved and also made a video with photos of our wedding day to a very lyrically fitting song basically telling her how much I love and miss her, shortly after she had read my letter she text me to say she had read it about 5 times the previous night and that the things I had said were right, we met up and she talked about moving back home she kissed me and told me she loved me, and then 30 minutes or less later she says she loves me and misses me, wants me to be apart of her life but doesn't know if she wants to be with me or not nor give me the wrong impression....huh!?!?!?... Obviously very confusing! . I've cried myself to sleep so many times over this as I really do love and miss her ever so much and just want her to come home, especially as it christmas eve tomorrow. I feel I have given her lots of space by not contacting her for days I've tried to make her think I'm not needy of her too, I've just run compleatly out of ideas on what's stopping her? She is confused herself but its doing my head in so much I have even contemplated suicide as I'm so depressed over this I just wish I knew what has made her leave me as that might give me something to work on or sattisfy my way of thinking to some degree. why is she confusing and hurting me so much if like she says " she loves me" and how can I win back her genuine affection?

[murraymints]

Oh dear !!! Do NOT do anything daft....I am sure you are right..emotions run high at this time and her thoughts will be with her mum ..obviously she is grieving badly and perhaps needs some bereavement counselling..gp can arrange that...you are doing the right thing by being there reassure and comort her.. continue to attest your love..she needs to feel safe and secure ..it does not take much for such a reaction when feeling so low...

[MRsnail]

yes it sucks big time and we feel for u but give the woman space , it could be amidlife crisis , she may be fed up , are u working >?? she could be having an affair there are lots of reasons , not all neccesarily to do with you my friend.
stay strong , do not smother her don;t be a wet blanket stand ur ground if its meant to be she will come back

[Sagz]

Did you do or say something really bad that made her upset? If she really loves you, then she'll come back to you. Or...

She's probably taking the time off to re-cooperate for her loss of her dear mother so you should respect her decision. But keep up the letter exchanges and she'll soon realize that she's missing someone else who is important in her life and by the time you know it, you'll be the happiest man alive again when you seen her running into your arms.

[beso]

Do most couples bicker all the time. My wife and I are generally very amicable.

The illusion of being soul mates is probably one of the reasons you haven't addressed the issues that you need to work on. You need to become much better communicators to make your marriage work.