Circus confession
Father Smith had been parish priest at St Monica's for over fifteen years and boasted that he knew all his parishioners by the sound of their voices.
So he was a little miffed when he was hearing confessions one Saturday morning and realised there was a person talking whose voice he couldn't place.
'Are you a stranger here?' asked the priest through the confessional screen.
'Yes, Father,' said the voice. 'I'm touring with the circus that came into town yesterday.'
'I see,' said the priest. 'And what do you do in the circus?'
'I'm an acrobat,' said the stranger.
' I'd like to see you work,' said Father Flynn, 'but I'll be too busy to come to the show.'
'No problem,' said the acrobat. 'I can do a few things now if you have the time.'
Out came the priest from the confessional box and he sat in a pew watching the circus performer do handstands, cart wheels, somersaults and multifarious contortions.
As this was going on, Mary Brown rushed out of church saying to herself:
'If that's the sort of penance he's giving, I'm going to change my underwear!'