Some things are just not meant to be

[inamuddle1]

What do you think I should do. The guy I've been seeing for 1 1/2 years has got back together with the mother of his child, he says he thinks he can do better this time. He still wants to see me and I have been crazy about him since the day we first met. He was single when we first met. He would regularly commute to my city (as his child and the mother lived in the same city as me) but now they have moved to his city, he is never in my city anymore... He says he cant afford the flight money (neither can I). He said he really wants to see me and asked if I could pay his flight. After thinking about it for some time, because I do want to see him, I decided I dont have enough money for that either. So we have a catch 22. I asked him if he was worried, or angry with me, and he said, no, he was sad. :(

I dont know what is going to happen now. We have real chemistry and he's become a friend. I'm a great believer that when you split up with someone it's for a reason.

So tonight we are both sad. We have been speaking for hours... Long distance relationships never work (so i've heard).

This is never going to be anything... Just a dream, just a dream <3

[grasscarp]

You have to be generous and think how great this is for his child to have his father in his life. Hope that you will meet someone who is available in in your city soon to take your mind off the one that got away. If this sounds harsh it isnt meant to. I think we all have in our minds someone we would rather be with most of the time!

[Bluestone]

I think - let him get on with his relationship with the mother of his child, and his child. Harsh, but fair.

[DaisyNonna]

Stop dreaming and start living. He has made his choice. Forget him and do not get conned into paying for flights.

[Bluestone]

I think we all have in our minds someone we would rather be with most of the time!

Er... no

[inamuddle1]

I wrote the story before I wrote the title, suppose the title is my answer really... I like this guy, would be good if things were different. I have another guy chasing after me right now too, but im not feeling what I feel with my long distance lover... Maybe I should give him space, not message him for some time...

[inamuddle1]

yeah ok... I'll forget him. it's all true. Should I message him and say good bye, or just stop contacting him? :(

[Bluestone]

Honestly, I think you should leave him alone. He's made his choice. As hard as it may be to deal with, you have to respect his wishes.
Him saying he wants to see you, but can't afford the flight money, is just botox. Don't fall for it.
Go with this new guy. See what he has to offer. Yes, you don't feel the same way about him right now, but give it time.

[grasscarp]

Do nothing. Just wait and see what happens in your life and give yourself a chance to explore other avenues.

[Bluestone]

No! Don't message him. Don't have any more contact.
I hate to sound mean, but he's with his child and the mother of his child. He chose to be with them. Imagine if you text him, and she reads it. It could flump up that child's life... without being dramatic. Just let it go. No contact - best way forward.

[inamuddle1]

I've been such an idiot... Flights, children, mothers of the child...

[Bluestone]

You're not an idiot. Love is blind... apparently. Good luck with the new bloke. He hasn't got any children/ex-partners in different cities, has he?

[Canary42]

Do you work for Mills & Boon ?

[Bluestone]

lol

[inamuddle1]

No. He's alright. Nice guy. Funny. Wants to do stuff... :) He's into Salsa though hahaha dancing and stuff. He's a funny guy, very open. I've been avoiding him for the past couple of days because I've had this situation going on with the other guy... It's tiring, I dont know how my ex-long distance lover can do it...!!! :/

[pastafreak]

.....is the 'other' guy the one you just have sex with...and who wants to swing? Geezzz...you do know how to pick them. Leave them both to their own devices...take a break,then look for a genuine guy who will be there when you need him.

[Bluestone]

He's into salsa?
AVOID AVOID AVOID!! Lol. joke. Go for it. Forget the ex. TBH, he doesn't sound worth the hassle.

[inamuddle1]

It's the same guy. He wants to swing and try all crazy stuff out. but now he cant afford a flight... (I know it totally sounds like i've had a lucky escape) and the Salsa guy, he's right up for everything! Life is chaotic at the moment. I'm happy I made the right decisions about the flights... Oh, i just scared myself writing this. I'm sorry for getting myself into this situation, I thought it would be fun. Time to screw the nut.

[liquidspace]

He wants his cake and be able to eat it too. If hes decided to be back with her why does he want to see you too? The answer is obvious. Believe me, I do know the situation you are in, too well actually.

[Ric.ror]

You know there is nothing wrong with being on your own for a bit
Try it you might like it and it may help you to set your sights a little higher next time