Steve Wright sayings

[marval]

I installed a skylight in my apartment yesterday
The people who live above me are furious


I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died.


I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did.
Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars".


I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Déjà Vu." The headwaiter said,
"Don't I know you?"


When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.


In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything.
Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check.
Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, "Cut it out."


I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time.


I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."


I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."


I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be
really tired.


I was born by Caesarean section...but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.

[chaptazbru]

The first one's my favourite.

[tonyav]

All very good marval, I think the waiter one is my fav.

[marval]

I like the first one too.

[starone]

I like them all marval.