Question for all ladies over 40.

[hc4361]

Were you ever, when 18 or younger, inappropriately groped, goosed, touched, rubbed against, harangued, verbally abused or humiliated, propositioned by an older man?

A quick survey of my wife, family and friends shows the majority were, including in the workplace, and nothing was ever done about it.

[nungate]

Never was but if I had been I'd have decked them! Irrespective of who they were. I wasn't the nice sweet girly that I am now way back then!

[Meg]

No

[puzzled54]

Yes, but it was different then - never would have considered going to the police and reporting a grope as an assault.

[joggerjayne]

When I was " 18 or younger " I was at an all girls boarding school, so no, not really. But even during holidays, I don't think I ever knew anyone to whom it happened.

[Krausse]

My Uncle Jimmy always gave me a 10 shilling note BUT I always sat on his knee when he gave it to me ! (50p?)

[chrissa1]

Nope.

[DaisyNonna]

Yes, but a quick stab of a stiletto heel during a tango and an upraised knee quickly defused the situation. But I did love dancing.

[dotty.]

not quite, when i was 14 or so there was a incident as i walked home from school, this man lived in the next village, he was very distinctive because he was Indian and in the late 1960s in Ormskirk there weren't many Indian people. He later raped a retired nurse in a nearby wood and was sent to prison, I was quick thinking and pretended the farm house i was walking past was my own house and shot into the garden. god knows what would have happened as i was just leaving the main road to turn into our country lane.

[karenmac60]

I was asked inappropriate questions by my doctor when I was 17 (including 'are you good in bed?') and he also got me to remove my pj top (no bra) when I had chickenpox aged 16 and said 'there's a couple of good ones there'. It was obvious from the spots on my arms and face what I had and no need to take my top off. I never told anyone because I was so embarrassed and humiliated and I worried I would be told I was being stupid and naive - that he was a dr and had perfectly good reasons for doing it. I never went back to him though.

[phleb]

I hear in those days if you complained about being groped you were told to zip up and shut up....don't wear anything to provoke sexual tension. I myself am shocked to hear this was being put up with in those days. Try it on one of this generation and it will hit the press/law before you can say glitter!!

[rockyracoon]

Yep, as a child age 7-8 years old, then once as a adult (20years) I was goosed in a pub.....he was VERY sorry. Not since have I been touched, humiliated or abused, and good luck to anyone who tried. I've no truck for bullies or perverts, they be kicked in the bollix very hard!

[Meg]

karen, that's terrible

[DSJ]

Yes, once on an overcrowded tube train when I was in my early twenties. Couldn't turn around so don't know who it was. Left the carriage at the next stop & boarded the carriage in front for the rest of my journey.

[pastafreak]

When I was 18,I commuted on the train every day to art school in Manhattan. Met my friends on the train and always sat on the end seat...until I realised the same raincoat clad male always leaned the lower part of his body right up against me. If it happened now-he get an elbow in his groin....but I was a coward. My male friend took the seat from then on.

[Prudie]

I was wondering if this would come up. I'm afraid yes for me on several occasions. When I was about 7 and the same man did it again when I was 15 and my mother knew. Quite a few 'older brothers' of friends between the ages of 7 and 12 ish and definitely a colleague when I was working as a teacher. bit nonplussed as to what to say to that.

[Jeza]

When I was about 11 so we're talking 1961 a neighbour tried to put his hand in my knickers. I ran away. I told him I was going to tell my mum. He said she won't believe you, he was right. He was a pillar of our community. Mum said he was just helping you to get down from the steps. ***

[lady-janine]

yes - twice. once when i was young and then again when older but my then boyfriend took care of him. propositioned lots, usually at work. hated it especially as they knew i needed the job (two young children to keep). however, always managed to get out of it somehow.

there are some shocking tales on here. stories/tales are not the right words but only alternative i can think of is - there are some shocking truths.

there are some horrible people in this world.

[sunny-dave]

Part of the problem is that the whole culture of deference to adults and 'authority figures' was so much more ingrained back in the 50s/60s/70s and even possibly the 80s.

A girlfriend of mine had a very similar experience to kazzamac's - what I believe was hilariously (ho hum) called a TUBE - Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination. The fact that there was a well used acronym sort of makes the point about the fact that it was accepted (or at least acquiesced to) as 'just part of life' - my girlfriend was a bit unhappy, but not mentally scarred or even 'outraged' - it was just 'the way it is'.

Which doesn't mean it was alright - just that we perhaps shouldn't be having attacks of the vapors about every squeezed bum and innuendo laden remark that we can remember - it was a different world with different rules back then?

< and for the avoidance of doubt, none of my slightly wry/sceptical musings apply if children are/were involved - that is utterly different >