A Geordie New Year

[oldbiddy]

'Hello there lads' said Eddie. 'Did yis have a Good New Year.' 'Aa
think so' sez I 'but Davie'll tell you better.' ' Well, sez Davie, we
started off on the wrong foot as me Ma sez we had to gan an see the old lady in
the end hoose. She was complaining nobody ever first footed hor. So Aa sez to
Geordie let's gan and get that ower with forst and then me Mam'll be
happy. So off we went and knocked on old Lizzie's door. Oh come on in
lads she sez, I have some nice sausage rolls just out of the oven. Never knew a
lad to refuse a sausage roll sez she with a funny leer in hor eye. Howivver
they were very nice and we managed a few. Noo before you go lads you must
take a little nip of my home made parsnip wine. So, trying not to look as if
we were in a hurry we said Aye that'll be nice. And it was, in a tiny
thimble size glass, it nearly knocked me socks off. That'll put hairs
where you never dreamt there could be hair,she cackled. Could you manage
another one? So Geordie and me both nodded wor heeds and settled doon for a
session with this bottle. Oh man my heed next day. We never did go out first
footing that night. I woke up this morning and found myself face to face with
Lizzie. OMG I wailed I'll never live this doon, Geordie won't be able to
wait to tell all the lads. Only then I realized he wouldn't be doing that cos
he was on the other side of her. Old Lizzie had a smile on her face that would
warm the darkest winter. When I got home me Mam said 'Did you pop into
Lizzies. I hope you were polite.' ' Aye we did' I said, but me Mam had a funny
glint in hor eye. Mam man you should be ashamed