Thanks, But No Thanks.

[dmh9282]

As an Atheist, and a great believer in Science. I'm asking this question here as I feel its more appropriate. A good friend of mine has recently become a Christian, he's had some problem with alcohol and drugs over the last few years and recently wanted to change his life for the good. He has made some positive steps towards this which has been fantastic and "finding god" seems to have made a big difference in his life.
Tonight while playing Fifa online he asked if I would like to go to Church with him some night. Politely I declined his offer saying thank you I appreciate the gesture but its just not my thing. He proceeded to ask if I would go to the cinema with my wife to watch a movie I didn't want to see, I said of course I would. He then asked why wouldn't I go to church with one of my best friends for 1 hour. I had no response to this!!!!!! What I wanted to eloquently say was "I don't want to lose an hour that I'll never get back listening to a pile of bullis**t about something that doesn't exist, if your not a good boy Santa won't come at Xmas, if your not a good person you won't get to heaven etc".
That has done the trick before to the numerous people who have arrived at my front door inviting me to prayer meetings and other things. But out of respect to my friend I couldn't find the most appropriate and respectful words to say. I know this invitation will be put to me again and I would like some ideas on how to decline his invitation respectfully and put it to bed.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, sorry it was so long winded.

[snags]

Just tell him your not interested... is any further explanation necessary?. A 'good friend' would understand and accept that and not ask again, especially as he knows (presumably) that you're an Atheist.

[Iluvspikey]

Just do as you've done before, and politely decline. This would you go to the cinema and watch a film you didn't want to see, you say yes, but you could add, my wife would know better than to ask me, or I'd spend my time making lists in my head for work/hobby and wouldn't be listening to the service. Tell him your happy that he's found something that helps him, but it isn't for everyone, and you happen to be one of those people. If he starts on about rotting in hell etc, just smile and say you'll take your chances, afterall, nobody has come back with any definate answers, have they. If he keeps on after that, then tell him you wish him well, but you think the friendhip has run it's course, and nothing is going to make you chane your mind on religion. All the best!!

[ST24]

I think you should tell your friend how much you value their friendship. Then explain to them that you are not a believer and are not ever likely to become one. Finally suggest some other activity that you would prefer to do jointly.

[woofgang]

""I don't want to lose an hour that I'll never get back listening to a pile of bullis**t about something that doesn't exist,".

Would you say this to your wife about a movie you didn't want to see?

If that is your only reason, I can see why it might not convince your friend. if it means a very great deal to him, it might be a deal breaker so far as your friendship is concerned. how would you feel about that?

If you really cannot face going then I think you have to be clear that you have personal reasons for politely refusing and you don't want to discuss them.

[dmh9282]

Woofgang, of course I would say that to my wife and her response, quite rightly, would be "tough, your going, and by the way the movie is 2 hours long". Yes dear of course dear.
But we all love to be entertained in whatever ways be it movies, religion books. I just don't find religion entertaining and I've no desire to further what limited knowledge I have of religion. I'll use the same approach again. I'll decline the invitation but let him know that he doesn't need to ask me again. I'm certainly not looking to lose him as a friend but the ball would be certainly in his court. Time will tell

Thank you all for your responses.

[LazyGun]

What kind of friend attempts to guilt someone into doing something they have no wish to do?

This seems the worst sort of emotional blackmail to me.

Thats what I would say to them, i think...

[Old_Geezer]

Surely the response was that you'd get some enjoyment from the film, but would just be bored out of your skull by sitting at a service.

And you'd probably feel hypocritical to boot since at the cinema you don't have to believe the plot, but by definition a church service implies you are there to praise the deity.

That stated, you could always go to observe human nature and increase your knowledge.

[sara3]

Santa won't come at Christmas?????

[DangerUXD]

I'm an atheist and I go to church on occasion for the right reason. You need to get out of the whole perceived hypocracy thing and see it like a teetotaller going into a bar with one of his friends. Leave aside the boredom aspect, for a mate would you go and tolerate something? I'm guessing that you would. It seems that this guy has caught religion and its heklping him get out of other things. I think you should go and support him.

[atalanta]

Say to him "Sorry, I'd never be able to stop myself bursting out laughing."

[grasscarp]

I would spend an hour of my life with a friend doing something I might not enjoy. What is an hour? Not much. And if it meant a lot to them then definitely. Are you so desperate to fill every waking minute only pleasing yourself? If the answer is yes then you are not worth having as a friend.

[bibblebub]

you never know when the good life might happen

[I_Hate_Infinity]

I have the same problem mate. My mother's side of the family are all heavily into christianity and although their good people, I faqil to connect with them properly becasue of the influence religion has on their thoughts and conversation. They constantly quote the bible or reference Jesus in talks we have and have now stopped asking me to church becasue I've told them (with respect and a manor of open honesty) I've read the bible and learned about christianity and have concluded that religion is not for me. I say then that I try to abide by the laws of the country, not the bible and treat others how I expect to be treated. If they open further debate I reference that a woman can be prime minister but not pope, I don't discriminate against homosexuals and I don't believe that those who think differently to me will suffer in agonising pain for eternity after they die. I then conclude that I Love and respect them as my friend/family and will defend their right to believe in their God and religious law, but I've decided not to attend their church.

Said in such a 'matter of fact' way and not quivering with a nervous delivery of my words as not to offend them, then they couldn't counter MY beliefs and conclusions on such matters.. - - Hope this helps you brother :)

IHI

[Tim123]

Go to church with him. Make it clear that you are an athiest, and that won't change, if you feel you need to. Singing hymns is good fun, even if you don't believe a word of them, and having a kip during the sermon won't cause you to be struck by lightning. Oh, and remember that most of the congregation under 60 are only there to get their kids into a good school.

[Peter Pedant]

I would go once and not again

If necessary take a book with you wisely chosen

Waugh's St Helena but even some thing atheist like Joy in the Morning (the sequel to A Tree grows in Brooklyn which is better but the title is not as good)

I am not sure if saying I wont go because I know it will be crap - gets up and runs
would you praise a muslim for saying I am not gonna to go on Friday because I know the sermon on child abuse is gonna be crap ?