If A Black Person Has A Go At Me, How Shall I React So I Don't Appear Racialist?

[Bigbee698]

The reason I asked this was my Aunt lives in a care home and I criticised the care team because they got her up late at 10.20am, not for the first time. The black supervisor had a right go at me and I responded. This is typical of their nature. So am I racist because I reacted in kind? I try to be fair to all but it doesn't always work.

[woofgang]

Rule one when a person has a right go at you in those circs, is to maintain the moral high ground and NOT respond!

[douglas9401]

You would react without reference to their colour, historic homeland or that funny food that they all eat.

Jesus.

[Tilly2]

Does it matter what colour she was? Did you respond with racist comments? Would you have responded any differently if the supervisor had not been black?

[sara3]

"This is typical of their nature."

oh dear, argument lost.

[RATTER15]

Bigbee698, if you feel that your Aunt is not being cared for correctly tell the homes manager that will be reporting the home to CQC. (Care Quality Commission) that will usually make them sit up and take notice.

Incidentally, Is it your Aunt that has said she wants to get out of bed early or is it you that thinks she should be out of bed earlier?
If she is happy to stay in bed then the home will likely allow this.

[tonyav]

This is typical of their nature.


Do you mean the supervisor or the team in general ?.

[daisya]

Certainly not racist IMO if you didn't react by name calling or referring to the colour of their skin or other matters which could be deemed racist. This is how I would expect anyone to react no matter the colour or culture of those who one is responding to.

[Sharingan]

Let's start at the beginning shal lwe? As Sara said remarks like that lead people to assume you are racist ( not racialist), so stop it.
When you compain, keep your tone low, your language firm but not aggressive and don't tolerate people responding in anything but a professional manner. If they do, advise them that you will report their lack of professionalism to the relevant authorities. Bascially that's it. There is no reason to treat a black person any differently to a white person, which seems actually to be the crux of your problem, you think there is.

[Old_Geezer]

I think Sharingan has put it very well. It is probably in your nature to flare up also, which is human enough, but there are times when biting your lip and going through the correct channels gets you to the result you want. Go back to the car and yell at God or whatever if you want to let off steam.

[boxtops]

"This is typical of their nature."

That's a sweeping statement if ever I heard one.

Your complaint is about the care delivered to your aunt, not whether it's delivered by someone with a different skin colour. You respond criticising the care, it's not personal to the supervisor so there should be no racial content to anything you say.

[FredPuli43]

Do you think you can't voice your complaint to the supervisor without abusing or insulting them? And if you can't , and can't do it without bringing race or colour into it, it seems unnecessary for you to worry about the insults including racial abuse. Do you think it would be all right to insult them without reference to colour, though including that does make the abuse rather worse?

[tezmand]

douglas9401 the funny food THEY eat ! is it funny food just cos you dont eat it ? i dont like liver you may well do, so is it funny food to me cos i dont eat it , no it isnt its just food that i dont like , and as for netibiza well you show your ignorant side straight away bet you havnt many friends feel sorry for you . bigbee698 you should respond in the same way you would if they were any other nationality

[2sp_]

(We really do need to get a sarcasm button...)

[ladybirder]

tez - he wasn't serious.

[Mattk]

"Call them a black B******, sorry but I am not PC."
No, apparently you are racist.

How Shall I React So I Don't Appear Racialist?
Firstly colour is irrelevant here and I hope by 'typical of their nature' you also aren't referring to colour.
To react is not racist at all but to introduce colour is.

[viv38]

By gum net, that was brave !!

[pixie373]

Bigbee, i don't understand why you've even mentioned the supervisor's colour in this post? Your problem is with her attitude? Why is it relevant at all that she's black?

[Bigbee698]

Outside of the home I don't have a problem but inside most of the carers, black or white are very good to my aunt, but one or two, this person included are very insensitive and my aunt is a customer and should be treated with respect and that goes for myself when spoken to. I did not use any racial abuse but the other person marched straight into my aunts flat without knocking and started having a pop at me. She did not use any racial abuse but was very overbearing in her way and comments which took me back and I just stood my ground but I do feel that they are beyond criticism, not all mind, but a few. I, like many in this country over the years, have tried to get on with all races and like anyone else out there, I am prepared to meet anyone half way. I must say there is a difference in nature in some at times and I find it a little unfriendly. The thing was she thought I was going to be submissive by taking a hard line but I've been around too long to let words just get to me. But, wrong attitudes might.
My Aunt is 92 and has dementia and needs lots of care.My job is to see it is operating right. She is the client.

[thumper93]

i had go at a neighbour who was black for dropping litter outside of our flats passage way with no reference to her colour her first words were your having a go at me cos i'm black !