ChatterBank31 mins ago
British 'politeness'
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Sadly - it's perfectly true!
The British are so mealy-mouthed when it comes to communicating accurately - which in business and politics is a major issue.
I interface with a lot of American musicians and managers who simply don't have this problem - if they are happy, or unhappy, they let you know, and you know exactly where you are.
We should try it!
The British are so mealy-mouthed when it comes to communicating accurately - which in business and politics is a major issue.
I interface with a lot of American musicians and managers who simply don't have this problem - if they are happy, or unhappy, they let you know, and you know exactly where you are.
We should try it!
I think it was in the Korean war that an American officer operator asked an English officer by radio, whose regiment was suffering a massive Chinese attack what his situation was and he replied "Well, it's a bit sticky here at the moment", The American thought, well he sound all right, and did nothing further to help.
I tend to agree with andy regarding bluntness & honestly, it often being just a synonym for rudeness. I do, however, think most Brits tend to be too careful of others’ feelings though and try to phrase things so as not to offend: and feel insulted when others do not show the same degree of respect for our own feelings. But I feel each culture has its own rituals and way of doing things. I think we have a reasonable balance.
O_G - I do agree.
Cultural differences are often difficult to assess and recognise.
A prime example is for westerners dealing with Asian people, who have a far more abrupt way of expressing themselves, which comes across as rudeness and aggression, where none is intended.
i remember seeing a documentary illustrating this point by filming an interview between a primary school head teacher and a prosective Asian parent. Afterwards, each person's coments were analysed, and true attitudes and meanings explained.
So when the father said, in a gruff and angry voice "You must take my daughter, she must come to your school!", what he was actually saying was, "I am really concerned about my daughter, I like your school, and i would very much like you to find a place for her ..." which goes to show how much can be lost - literally - in translation.
Cultural differences are often difficult to assess and recognise.
A prime example is for westerners dealing with Asian people, who have a far more abrupt way of expressing themselves, which comes across as rudeness and aggression, where none is intended.
i remember seeing a documentary illustrating this point by filming an interview between a primary school head teacher and a prosective Asian parent. Afterwards, each person's coments were analysed, and true attitudes and meanings explained.
So when the father said, in a gruff and angry voice "You must take my daughter, she must come to your school!", what he was actually saying was, "I am really concerned about my daughter, I like your school, and i would very much like you to find a place for her ..." which goes to show how much can be lost - literally - in translation.
Having made my last point, I have to advise of a conversation with an Asian gentleman where no misinterpertation occured from me about what he meant!
Returning with my wife from a trip to London, we were delayed by two hours at Euston after a signal failure meant that no trains left the station during that time. As you can imagine, the scramble for the first train out was manic, with people very quickly filling seats - including an Asian family in First Class, who had two under-five children occupying seats, contrary to ticketing conditions which requires them to be given up to standing adults.
All reservations and classifications were suspended, but we had Advance First Class tickets, so passed this family, myself a few passengers behind my wife as we were separated in the crush. As my wife passed the Asian family, she asked if the children were in 'paid for' seats since adults were standing? The man responded aggresively saying it was none of her business, and she proceeded to get a single seat, while I found a an aisle seat, one of four just opposite her.
The Asian gentleman then marched down the train and stood over my wife demanding to know why she questioned him, and no-one else, his inference clearly being that she was being racist - wheras in fact he was the only person with children occupying seats. I spoke up and suggested that we were all tense and rushed after the delay, and we should all calm down.
He rounded on me, shouting at me that "SHE started all this, it's HER fault!"
He then turned around to my wife and asked if she wanted him to put her off the train!
My wife is more than capable of punching her weight in an argument with anyone, hence my lack of interference, but I judged this to be threatening behaviour, and as i would have done for any woman in that situation, I intervervened.
Having decided that this odious man was in his element bullying a woman alone, i decided to see how he felt when someone taller and angier than him got in his face.
I stood up, stood over him, and only raising my voice slightly, told him "SHE, is my wife, so stop the threats and sit down."
At that point the Train Manager intervened and made the man return to his seat.
I think that on that occasion, there were no cultural barriers to communication on either side - threats are threats, and I don't stand for them to or from anyone.
Seeing racism where none exists, and compunding that with intimidation and threats are international phenomena of our times - but it did indicate that sometimes, no misinterperetation occurs!!
Returning with my wife from a trip to London, we were delayed by two hours at Euston after a signal failure meant that no trains left the station during that time. As you can imagine, the scramble for the first train out was manic, with people very quickly filling seats - including an Asian family in First Class, who had two under-five children occupying seats, contrary to ticketing conditions which requires them to be given up to standing adults.
All reservations and classifications were suspended, but we had Advance First Class tickets, so passed this family, myself a few passengers behind my wife as we were separated in the crush. As my wife passed the Asian family, she asked if the children were in 'paid for' seats since adults were standing? The man responded aggresively saying it was none of her business, and she proceeded to get a single seat, while I found a an aisle seat, one of four just opposite her.
The Asian gentleman then marched down the train and stood over my wife demanding to know why she questioned him, and no-one else, his inference clearly being that she was being racist - wheras in fact he was the only person with children occupying seats. I spoke up and suggested that we were all tense and rushed after the delay, and we should all calm down.
He rounded on me, shouting at me that "SHE started all this, it's HER fault!"
He then turned around to my wife and asked if she wanted him to put her off the train!
My wife is more than capable of punching her weight in an argument with anyone, hence my lack of interference, but I judged this to be threatening behaviour, and as i would have done for any woman in that situation, I intervervened.
Having decided that this odious man was in his element bullying a woman alone, i decided to see how he felt when someone taller and angier than him got in his face.
I stood up, stood over him, and only raising my voice slightly, told him "SHE, is my wife, so stop the threats and sit down."
At that point the Train Manager intervened and made the man return to his seat.
I think that on that occasion, there were no cultural barriers to communication on either side - threats are threats, and I don't stand for them to or from anyone.
Seeing racism where none exists, and compunding that with intimidation and threats are international phenomena of our times - but it did indicate that sometimes, no misinterperetation occurs!!
This thread reminds me of two examples of how perceptions within and outside Britain differ. One is where the British invitation "Phone me anytime, I'll send you my number" is correctly understood by foreigners and regarded as a rather crass insult because it is utterly empty and devoid of any intention - done just for the sake of uttering something that sounds right. The Brit on the other hand will go away and think he was "being nice".
The other is something I came across abroad: "After shaking the hand of an Englishman, make sure you count your fingers", apparently a well known refrain/sentiment. While the English (possibly/probably in most areas abroad generally meaning the British) think of themselves as having virtually exclusive possession of fairness, etc., they are actually perceived, at least in some areas abroad, as very difficult to deal with if not two-faced.
The other is something I came across abroad: "After shaking the hand of an Englishman, make sure you count your fingers", apparently a well known refrain/sentiment. While the English (possibly/probably in most areas abroad generally meaning the British) think of themselves as having virtually exclusive possession of fairness, etc., they are actually perceived, at least in some areas abroad, as very difficult to deal with if not two-faced.
-- answer removed --
Yes, the story was told to me by a dear friend now 80 who was there, he was an officer with the Gloucesters, it was a UN force I believe, they wore blue berets, he was shot in the arm arm in that incident and invalided to Japan after. I didn't realise that the misinterpretation resulted in so many casualties though
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