Heat Alert - Should I Take My Shirt Off?

[Dear-Doris]

Good Morning Campers

The Met Office has issued a 'yellow heat warning' - so people are asking me

"Should I take my shirt off to keep cool"

I have produced a simple checklist to decide whether your shirt is discardable :

1. Am I male and over 15 stones? Keep Shirt On

2. Am I female and over size 20? Keep Shirt On

3. Am I Irish? Keep Shirt On

4. Am I ginger? Keep Shirt On

5. Am I Irish and Ginger? Keep Shirt On and add another jumper to make sure

6. Am I Kylie Minogue? Remove shirt whenever possible

7. Am I Daniel Craig or Colin Firth? Remove shirt whenever possible


I hope this helps - and in this weather you should also remember Doris's motto :

"A visible thong is an invitation to a cheese wiring"


Doris xx

[gness]

Morning, Doris......looks like I'd better fish out a jumper then.....x

[B00]

Is there an upper age limit too?

[Dear-Doris]

Jordy - very much "YES"

http://www.doctormacro.com/Images/Chandler,%20Jeff/Annex/Annex%20-%20Chandler,%20Jeff%20(Iron%20Man)_01.jpg

[B00]

Urgh, is that was Mr Chandler looked like? Urgh! He can keep his shirt on too.

[Dear-Doris]

B00 - age is less relevant than attitude

[jim360]

Bad luck for all gness fans...

[Dear-Doris]

gness - and a hat/scarf and some factor 199 sunscream

[mrs_overall]

What about someone who has a slim, bronzed body but gravity has taken over certain parts of the anatomy?

[mccfluff]

what if your a 17st irish ginger transgender called kylie?

[berniecuddles]

mrs o.....get em off xx

[Dear-Doris]

Mrs O - Appropriate use of a Pritt Stick can help

[ummmm]

My poor ginger Irish OH....

[Dear-Doris]

I think your boyfriend needs to make his own judgement, mccfluff - though the number of tattoos may be the deciding factor.

[whistonian]

Whatever, get your shirt off doris and don't forget the factor 50

[mrs_overall]

Pritt stick?????
I would need industrial strength super glue to hoist them back to their original position

[gness]

Dear Doris.....

MrsO's problem has given me an idea....if I make earrings to which a hammock like contraption could be attached to hoist the offending droopers......would it sell?

[excelsior-1]

that is an uplifting idea, gness

[Dear-Doris]

Dear Gness

My eyes are watering at the thought - you may excite some interest from 'specialist' shops though (more S&M than M&S)

Doris xx

[jim360]

I think I'm too young and innocent for this thread.