Winter Drawers On

[sunny-dave]

TEMPERATURES in the UK are going to fall sharply over the coming weeks because that is what happens at this time of year, it has been claimed.

During winter snow can often reach the ground

Meteorologists believe that winter, a spell of short, cold days commonly defined as a season, will be more or less exactly what you would expect.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Household fuel costs will rise considerably as families try to increase the temperature of their homes.

“People on the verge of death may die.

“Ice and snow will create icy, snowy conditions.

“Your car will refuse to start.

“Because it’s winter.

“It’s really nothing to freak out about, unless you’re a pre-Neanderthal cave dweller who believes sunsets are caused by Gark, the angry moon god.”

He added: “There’s a high probability that this winter will be followed by another sudden, weather-related phenomenon known as spring.”

Housewife Nikki Hollis said: “The important thing is to stay inside, carry a flaming torch at all times and don’t be sentimental about eating your plumpest child.”

[ thanks to The Daily Mash ]

[mikey4444]

I heard the Today Program say very similar things this morning, and here I was expecting a heat wave !

[seadogg]

All part of BBC4 "dumbing" down mikey.

[EDDIE51]

You have been reading the Daily Express again sunny-dave

[mikey4444]

I'm fairly sure that Farage will blame some of this ghastly weather on immigration !

[Stephen_G]

[i]and don’t be sentimental about eating your plumpest child[i]

There's only me in the house, but I'm the plumpest child... Erm.....

[seadogg]

Would a plumpish old terrier do instead?

[andy-hughes]

I am waiting for the inevitable day when it snows seriously, and the news will show some poor sap standing out in it freezing his or her bits off, to tell me that it's snowing!

I KNOW WHAT SNOW LOOKS LIKE!!!!

JUST TELL ME IT'S SNOWING, I'LL UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!

I DON'T NEED TO SEE A REPORTER IN A NORTH FACE ANORAK AND A SCARF UP TO THEIR KNEES IN SNOW TO GET THE PICTURE!!!!!!!

Ok, I'll calm down now ...

But honestly, they do it every single year?

WhY?

[sunny-dave]

Andy - that reminds me of Colin Baker (starts about 7 seconds into the clip)
.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3M-BS47UHQ

[Barsel]

The weather forecast tonight scared the living daylights out of me. Said a weather bomb was coming our way!

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/britain-braced-icy-blasts-80mph-182555911.html?vp=1