Murray lays out his “13-point common sense action plan”, which includes revaluing the pound so it is worth £1.10, introducing national service only for those who don’t want to do it, and locking up the unemployed because “unemployment causes crime”.
He proposes making Alex Salmond first minister for Norwich, “so he can get to understand what being ignored by the rest of the country is really like”, and a “new improved Street Raffle” to determine where children go to school instead of a postcode lottery.
The pub landlord’s foreign policy consists of just one line: “Germany has been too quiet for too long. Just saying.”