Parenting - Saying Princess And Big Boy Etc

[joko]

do you think that subconsciously saying these type of things to little children creates a weird conflict in their mind

for instance, people say patronising things to little boys and girls -

such as ooh you're a big boy now, man of the house, big and strong, and clever etc = yet actually treat the child - quite rightly - like a little boy - we stop them doing things, watching things, saying things etc, and saying they're too young or little for lots of things

and with little girls, we tell them they are princesses, so pretty, so clever so grown up ... but again tell them they cant do all sorts of things - and make it clear they are not princesses at all, they are just kids who have to do as they're told, and they are confused that they are not more special than other kids.
- so does this create a weird confusion in them, that they are of course too little to deal with ... which in later life can create issues??


we think they like it, that it makes them feel good ... and it probably does, but then we knock it down again ... then say it again, only to keep knocking it down ... over and over.

what do you think?

thanks

[Mamyalynne]

I think most children see through the muddled antics of us well meaning grown ups.

[pixie373]

I don't think most people do patronise children? You say they've done well if they have, so there's no need to take that away. But you will obviously create problems if you lie to them...

[Mamyalynne]

Just because you tell a little girl she's your Princess doesn't stop her wanted to roll in the mud and hunt for worms.

Just as telling your little lad he's a big brave soldier doesn't stop him wanting a cuddle and kiss at bedtime and you to check under the bed for bogeymen.

[woofgang]

I doubt it joko....has it given you problems?

[China Doll]

Our son is called 'big boy' because even though he is 9 months old, he is effing massive; he is also very strong. So if he carries on like this then no, callimg him 'big boy' won't be patronising him, it's just simply the truth.

Admittedly if I started calling him 'princess', he could end up confused.

[cazzz1975]

It never bothered or confused me as a child. As a child I didn't over think, life was simple.

[joko]

no i dont have any kids, i was just wondering after a few comments i read from others on facebook
thanks all

[DaisyNonna]

Never addressed my children in such terms.
They seem to be fairly normal in adulthood.

[ummmm]

I think it depends on the family. If you call your daughter princess and treat her like a princess she may grow up thinking she's a princess.

[Kassee]

Never called my daughter "princess" or my sons "big boy". Certainly never felt I was patronizing them. They have all grown up fine.

[Kassee]

Lucky you haven't got any kids joko - cos they may grow up very confused indeed if you did have.

[joko]

Lol, I see you have trouble reading Kassee ....

[Peter Pedant]

whenever I addressed my father as
'Father ! '

he would reply 'Sir ! '

It took me around fifty years to realise that HIS father has done it to him.


Oddly enough altho we say miss or ma'am to any unknown woman - even a bag lady - the English have a thing about saying 'sir' to any unknown man - and I have to say it helps me over that. ( and the americans dont - I have never understood that )

[Peter Pedant]

I used to address my sibs as 'O great one ! '

Made to do Latin and Greek where tris-megistos features largely ( O thrice greatest one ! ) particularly Apollo