Platonic Relationships

[Sqad]

Might i make it clear from the outset, that this thread is not meant to be "judgmental" (which seems to be the buzz word on AB recently) but shall we say...an exploration of philosophies, highlighted by yesterday:s thread.."Who Knows Who on Here."
Can heterosexual friendships exist without an underlying sexual connotation or desire?
Let me define a platonic heterosexual relationship (friendship)....a lasting and frequent interlude with one of the opposite sex......seeing someone on a regular basis without a sexual intention (making a pass). Going out for a meal or a drink on a regular basis with one of the opposite sex.
On a personal note, I have never come across this concept and as far as i know none of my friends or acquaintances exhibit this phenomenon and certainly it has never happened to me.
The odd dinner, the odd chat......but not a regular entity. I am not criticizing.... I admire such behavior.
One is introduced to a woman and you are either sexually attracted to her or you are not, if the latter, there the story ends and if you are, then you make your pass. if it is rebutted, well, some you win and some you lose, if it is received with a similar or like response a sexual relationship may develop which has predicable sequelae.

What I don't understand is how you can have, by my definition a platonic relationship with a woman , attractive or otherwise.
All my friendships(non sexual), again by my definition above,have all been homosexual and that has been the case with my mates.

[murraymints]

hmmm I have never been attracted to a young woman.. but have plenty of very attractive men friends , that friendship will never be anything other than platonic ! it is possible from the female point of view....

[ummmm]

My best mate is male. Neither of us have ever made a pass in 25 years of friendship. It's easy Sqad...when you think about other things bar sex.

[waterboatman]

I have platonic relationships with several women. Lunch, a drink, a day out etc. One is married and her husband is fine with it.

[Sqad]

ummmm....perhaps he doesn't fancy you.
murray......I am speaking from a male point of view

[murraymints]

oh's pals often pop in for a cuppa when he's not around..nothing sinister at all...I think I have better choccie biccies than they have at home...one chap comes up when his oh is getting on his nerves or the grandkids are too rowdy.. " can I come up for a bit of peace " lol

[ummmm]

I hope not, Sqad, I don't fancy him but we get on very well. He moved to London and when he came back for visits he'd stay at mine. His wife was cool with that.

[murraymints]

indeed ... will be interesting to see the responses

[Sqad]

ummmm....ah! I have just seen your point. You are on regular meeting terms with a male over a period of 25 years and neither has made a pass......then that is a platonic relationship.
Perhaps neither of your fancy each other?
Your point is well taken.....thank you.

[ummmm]

He's my aunts ex boyfriend so we met on platonic terms. She's still friends with him as well.

[mikey4444]

I can't see why we can't be friends with anyone we like ?

[Sqad]

All my friends now and always have been......MALE.
That is one of the points of my thread, the prevalence of platonic heterosexual relationships which is an anathema to me.

[Sqad]

mikey......we CAN be and we DO.....but my thread is all about what my experiences on the subject have been.

[mikey4444]

Morning Sqad !

I am curious about why you can't or won't make friends with women ?

[waterboatman]

I can understand that sqad. Nothing at all wrong with it, just a different mindset.

[Old_Geezer]

I suspect that the thought of intimacy is almost bound to occur from time to time. Well unless your friend has a hideous appearance. But it need not be that regular nor acted upon. Makes one wonder how tightly the definition of "Platonic" is. Desire doesn't always result in a "pass".

The best definition of a Platonic relationship, and I'm sure if you look it up in any dictionary it'll be definition 1. is, "What every woman want's when you've expressed an interest in being more intimate".

[waterboatman]

I like that OG!

[anneasquith]

" all my fiends are male " oh err Mrs. :-)))

[Sqad]

mikey....OK.

Friends, as defined by sqad above, as a frequent and long standing relationship with one of the opposite sex (let's assume that is either male or female for this thread ;-0)
In my youth, one went on holiday with your friend (male), never with your "girlfriend" although i admit times have changed and that set the tone for the rest of my life.
One joined a male only club, for snooker, relaxation and general chat..who is having an affair with whom, etc.etc. I would never think of having a regular meeting with a woman other than on a sexual basis.....and that seemed to be the norm at that time which has persisted.
OK times have changed and men have women for nonsexual friendships....but what do they have in common?
Just wanted to know.

[Rango]

"All my friendships(non sexual), again by my definition above,have all been homosexual and that has been the case with my mates."

I'm not sure how to take that sqad unless i've missed the point???

Yes platonic relationships can flourish but imo it usually is because one of the duo isn't attracted to the other despite numerous advances hence the "Sleeper" bides his/her time.

Personally I've found that those in platonic relationships are usually low iq'ed, not attractive and have insecurity issues.

Find me a couple who are young, virile, attractive and have extrovert personalities as well as everything going for them and i'll show you a couple in bed the next weekend!

[mikey4444]

OK Sqad....I was just being curious !