To Andy & Elfin (Confused)

[Omerta]

Thankyou for your advice, just like to point out, i am understanding, ive had problems myself in the past, but i was honest from the start of my relationship with husband,i know what it is like, to be scared and alone, to feel guilty about something that wasn't my fault. I should of noticed the signs, but only just being married a few months, this is the first time ive lived with him. Sometimes i had notice a strangeness in him, he watch's everything i do, constantly correcting me, even though im doing it right, he controls me, but im fairly strong headed, and won't be pushed around.I'll stand by him no matter what problems he has, but he won't let me in, you say we should try to get help, but ive suggested this, and he refuses, he says im the one with the problem. You also said Elfin i shouldn't be thinking of a family just yet, but it's my husband who wants a family so much, and yet, he plays all these mind games. Ive known him for 4 years, and i never once picked up on anything like this. He has OCD, as ive had to go behind my husband back and check with his GP. He also has alot of other problems, i just can't understand why he won't talk to me. Now he's found out what ive been up to, he went so mad, like ive never seen him before, i was so scared i thought he was going to kill me. I can't tell my family, this is my secret, this is the only way i can talk about it. It's like he has all these personality's, now days i just keep quite, i couldn't be without him, my love for this man is to strong to break, even for this. I just want to help him, care for him, but he acts like it's nothing, he treats me like im the one who's messed up, but the thing is, im trying to keep it together, but there is only so long you can pretend. His friends think he's amazing, i just don't know how he's managed, to hide it for so long. He's very intelligent, clever, wise, holds down a good job. There no Answer to my Question?

[Elfin]

Hi Omerta,

So sorry you are having such a tough time of it. The answer to your question is that you must seek professional help asap. It's too much to try to deal with on your own, especially if you have had your own problems in the past. Explain the situation fully to your doctor and he/she will be able to help you, especially if you feel unsafe.

He does sound like an amazing guy (probably why you married him?), but he does need some help for both of your sakes. He is playing mindgames of sorts but it's part of his condition, not a personal attack on you - remember that. The fact that he is on medication means that he has sought help in the past and accepted he is unwell, which is half the battle. At the moment though, he is fully on the defensive so best back off (as you said you now have done), keep yourself safe and get outside help.

In the meantime, look at the forums on that website I sent you. There is one for carers. You are not alone.

Good luck.