Fortune Cookies

[ali_alic]

I am organising an in-house Chinese meal for the office and will be baking some fortune cookies. Do any of you have any good mottos to place inside that will suit the work enviroment? Slightly risque would be OK!!

Cheers in advance

[I_Tried]

Monring Ali_alic

How's these they are Mr. T's "a crazy fool" specials hehehe

Remember, if you want to run with the big dogs, you need to learn how to pee in the tall grass

If you can imagine it,you can achieve it.If you can dream it, you can become it.

Success is a journey,not a destination.

When enthusiasm is driven by confidence, any goal can be attained

Only as high as we reach, can we grow. Only as far as we seek, can we go. Only as deep as we look, can we see. Only as much as we dream, can we be.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us

Hope it helped

Mr.T "a crazy fool"

[ursula62]

Dolly Parton's "The way I see it, if you want rainbows, you just gotta put up with the rain".

Alternatively, leave them all empty and just say "No news is good news"

[dk_psy]

hmmmmm! nice question! how bout...

don't think people don't know what websites you look at when no one's watching

asking if you want a coffee isn't necessary an invitation to sex

beware when someone asks for your help in the stationary cupboard. 'help' doesn't always mean 'body'

[buttons]

"todays download is tomorrows crime scene"

[Xollob]

How about some of David Brent's words of office wisdom:

• Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.


• A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone else's?


• If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.


• Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.


• Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly.


• Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency - welcome to a day in the average office.


• Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.


• There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague', either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. Go figure.
  
  
  

[funnywebsite]

Sometimes borrowing someones stapler is one time too many especially if you finish the last staple

Try and keep your sarcastic opinions to yourself sometimes

Think of others for a change, don't eat all the cake

Keep your mobile volume down, it often annoys others

Someone's job to do is everybody's job todo

Cheer up! One day you will get out of here

[brachiopod]

Man who talk of 'singing from same hymn sheet' and 'ball park figure' speak management bollox.

Man who bring cream cakes on birthday certainly not buying bloody round in pub aswell.

Man who fiddle with 'office equipment' in front of young lady get velly painful staple through testicle.