Should I Ghost My 'Friend' Now

[Treacle71]

I got a late Christmas card earlier this week with written problems in it. She hasn't asked how I am in her letter with the card, but enclosed a long essay of all her problems. She has a massive family where with me, it's just me and my daughter. She has always had a husband and a big family and I have not and I have also struggled in life and this 'friend' knows this.
I'll feel guilty if I don't reply to her, but I don't want to. Is it OK to ignore it? I want to move on from her now. We hardly see each other anyway year in, year out. She hasn't even asked if my daughter and I have been OK during COVID and has assumed we're both OK.

[tiggerblue10]

When was the last time you saw her or spoke with her?

[calmck]

You received a card but it was late. She mentions problems she was having but she still sent you a card. So she was still thinking of you. Big families can also have problems with each other. A true friend is someone who stands by a friend without question. Only you can decide what you want to do

[naomi24]

If you don't want her as a friend, ditch her - but if you change your mind in the future don't expect her to pick up where you left off.

[Bobbisox1]

What does Ghost my friend mean?

[Bazile]

diss?

[Ellipsis]

Ghosting is cutting off communications, disappearing "as if you were a ghost" ...

[Bobbisox1]

Ah okay :0/

[Ellipsis]

Or as if they were ...

[Khandro]

Be polite: reply, thank her for card, say you are sorry to learn of her problems but hope things will be better for her in the year ahead,
don't comment on the issues themselves, keep it short. Why not send her a picture postcard instead of a letter, that way you have to be brief.

[Ellipsis]

Actually, now I come to think of it, it's probably more like treating them as if they were a ghost, i.e. Patrick Swayze in the movie Ghost. He's talking to people, they're acting like he's not there ...

[THECORBYLOON]

Ghost, “to abruptly cut off all contact with someone by no longer accepting or responding to texts, etc.”

[vulcan42]

Personally, if I received a Christmas card in February I wouldn't bother to answer. The late card is just a cover for what she actually wants, to let you know of her problems without bothering to enquire if you are well.

[davebro]

don't reply - waste of a stamp!

[Khandro]

vulcan: // if I received a Christmas card in February I wouldn't bother to answer.//

Last week I received a letter from England posted on the 8th of October.

[naomi24]

That's irrelevant to this, Khandro.

[vulcan42]

Khandro, fair enough, letters occasionally go astray. Assuming this happened in this case, I still find it selfish to send a Christmas card with a letter listing their problems without bothering to enquire how the recipient was.

[Ringlet]

Ask yourself - how would you feel if you woke up tomorrow to the news that this friend had taken her life because she thought nobody cared.
If you think this would upset you, then you should reply to her message.
You don't know what was going on in her life to prevent her from contacting you over Christmas, or sending you a card. Maybe she has no one else to turn to, except you.
Do you really want to turn your back on her altogether.
I think if i were you I would send a non-committal reply - acknowledge her message, thank her for thinking of you and tell her you are pleased to hear from her.
Don't comment on her specific problems - leave it general.
But I think for your own peace of mind you need to leave the channel of communication open.

[davebro]

OP //this 'friend' knows this.
I'll feel guilty if I don't reply to her, but I don't want to.//

Tells me they aren't really friends & rarely if ever see each other. Don't feel guilty about anything- just let go.

[Sqad]

Move on.

[mibn2cweus]

Has she gotten a Christmas card from you yet?