ChatterBank1 min ago
Was I In The Wrong?
2 Answers
We are group of 3 Females (29,27&33)and we are all introverts, although I am more louder and assertive than the other two. I did most of the planning and research for 4 days away which I did not mind as they both usually book substandard places,and the third day I was so drained that I was a little more quiet that usually.
They both asked if I was okay as they get worried when I am quite, and I informed them I just needed to recharge, and I just couldn't keep going to which they said no you should keep going, taking time out is something that each of us as a group have done from time to time in the past with no issues.
And every time we done this we have always included the recharger in the conversation to stay in the loop and included even if they don't say anything. And as time as gone on they do engage in conversations after the recharge.
But this time round the two individuals totally ignored me when we went out clubbing they danced with each other, took pictures, giggled and left me standing making me feel very isolated and like a spare wheel. On the Uber ride back home they had giggle fitts and did not share with me what the joke was and the one girl tilted and gave me her back while they both talked.
The only time they asked me anything was what time we were leaving in the morning I felt totally hurt and undervalued. The next day I did ask them although it was in a very emotional way (I did not shout just in a mellow tone way),which I did apologize for that , to which they both informed me that they had assumed I would inform them when had I recharged and then ask to rejoin the conversation.
which is something we never done as a group and was informed that I should have just joined the conversation at any point any way, but I informed them that I was not in the loop so how would I join in and besides the one girl gave me your back in the Uber while talking to the other girl so how would I join in.
I was told I was been stupid and they laughed at me and how they did not understand what the issue was and one girl said she was leaving the group chat would not longer be going on trips with us and thanked us as she was causing the issues and she insinuated that I was jealous of the bond they two have, other one said she did not understand the issue and began crying, informing me that she is an over thinker. I was totally lost for words. I did try to explained to them that the group dynamics was always keep pple in the loop and not sure why I was not given the same treatment I have given to both of them in the past multiple times.
They both left the group chat soon afterwards and traveling back I opted not to seat with them. Was I in the wrong? I have come to terms that I have lost a 10 year and 5 year friendship. But was I wrong should I have just interpreted there conversations to engage with them?
They both asked if I was okay as they get worried when I am quite, and I informed them I just needed to recharge, and I just couldn't keep going to which they said no you should keep going, taking time out is something that each of us as a group have done from time to time in the past with no issues.
And every time we done this we have always included the recharger in the conversation to stay in the loop and included even if they don't say anything. And as time as gone on they do engage in conversations after the recharge.
But this time round the two individuals totally ignored me when we went out clubbing they danced with each other, took pictures, giggled and left me standing making me feel very isolated and like a spare wheel. On the Uber ride back home they had giggle fitts and did not share with me what the joke was and the one girl tilted and gave me her back while they both talked.
The only time they asked me anything was what time we were leaving in the morning I felt totally hurt and undervalued. The next day I did ask them although it was in a very emotional way (I did not shout just in a mellow tone way),which I did apologize for that , to which they both informed me that they had assumed I would inform them when had I recharged and then ask to rejoin the conversation.
which is something we never done as a group and was informed that I should have just joined the conversation at any point any way, but I informed them that I was not in the loop so how would I join in and besides the one girl gave me your back in the Uber while talking to the other girl so how would I join in.
I was told I was been stupid and they laughed at me and how they did not understand what the issue was and one girl said she was leaving the group chat would not longer be going on trips with us and thanked us as she was causing the issues and she insinuated that I was jealous of the bond they two have, other one said she did not understand the issue and began crying, informing me that she is an over thinker. I was totally lost for words. I did try to explained to them that the group dynamics was always keep pple in the loop and not sure why I was not given the same treatment I have given to both of them in the past multiple times.
They both left the group chat soon afterwards and traveling back I opted not to seat with them. Was I in the wrong? I have come to terms that I have lost a 10 year and 5 year friendship. But was I wrong should I have just interpreted there conversations to engage with them?
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They did not appreciate all the work you did for your 4 days away, were rude to you and called you stupid. Maybe it’s time to leave your group and find friends that appreciate you. The other alternative would be to have a meeting where everyone has 10 minutes to explain how they interpreted the events, then take it from there.
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