My Mum Says I'm From The Devil

[Treacle71]

About 8 years ago I killed off my mum's dearly beloved apple tree I planted about 25 years ago. There's only me and mum, and I decided to do it because the apple tree was growing out of hand and growing into next door's property. I agree, it was a beautiful tree, but it's was growing like wildfire. Also, a few weeks ago, I decided to put salt all around the small lawn we have to die off some grass and to make a pretty border and reduce the large grass space I have mow. My mum said I didn't ask her permission as I just went ahead and did it! Again, I can't physically manage a garden alone and have to make it more manageable and easier to cut the grass when the time comes. Also, this morning, like I do nearly every Sunday morning, I took the hoover downstairs and she said she was watching a programme. I said 'That's OK. I'll close this door and hoover the hall first', then she flew into one and said I'm controlling and selfish and I'm from the Devil. She said it's Easter Sunday and she wanted to watch a service on the telly. I said I was sorry but I just wanted to get the hoovering out the way and could she pause it? I just keep doing everything wrong in her eyes. There's only me to do maintenance round here as her back's gone, etc. Then the, 'No wonder you're on your own. Who'll have you'? comes into play. I've bought 3 little apple trees to replace the one I killed off, even though they never grew and died. I try hard to upkeep the home, but only to ruin everything it all in the name of trying to keep up an orderly home. She said, ' I don't know what I've brought into this world' (meaning me).

Like I said there's only me to clean, do the garden and anything else round here; unless it's a massive task of course and we get council help. Why do I keep putting my foot in it? 😭 Once my mind's set on something I'm like a bull in a china shop and never consult my mum.

[smurfchops]

Leave the garden alone and stop killing everything, that might help.

[Redhelen72]

Whose house is it?

as for killing the tree unless the roots were invading your neighbours property then totally unnecessary imo you could have just trimmed back the branches. I think keeping a lawn is easier than the digging and planting and upkeep of a border.

as for your mother is she entitled to any help from the council?

unfortunately we can advise but not tell you what to do.

your mother sounds like my MIL lonely and bitter because she's lonely.

get her to join a lunch club

[Hazlinny]

Are you just getting your feelings off your chest so to speak 'cos I don't see there is much to interest anyone else?

[Treacle71]

I don't know, Hazlinny. I just found the need to write. I feel I can't do right for doing wrong at home 😞

[naomi24]

People often get cantankerous and ungrateful in their old age - some are like it before old age.   Listen only to kind words - living with constant criticism is depressing enough.  Just remember some people are sour and try not to take it to heart.  

[Treacle71]

Thank you, Naomi xx

[naomi24]

You're welcome.  Venting on here can help.  Lots of people have a sympathetic ear and some possibly similar experiences.  

[elliemay1]

Just wondering if you have to live with your mother, she seems such a negative influence

[newmodarmy]

I know you're on your 50s and your mum is in her early 80s. Is it your house or hers or owned jointly in some way? Have you always lived with her?

[Treacle71]

Yes, from a baby. It's just been me and her 😣. My mum owns it.

[1581960]

"Once my mind's set on something I'm like a bull in a china shop and never consult my mum." !!!!!!!!!

You obviously know what the problem is, and I'm sure you know the answer as well.

The expression that comes to mind is 'act in haste repent at leisure' 

[DarceyK123]

I totally feel for you, my mother was the same, i bent over backwards for her in every way, always wanting her approval (thinking back i dont know why) but i never got it.

Feel free to come on here and rant  i wish i had at the time.

But the constant put downs and criticism makes it feel like its YOU.

I now known that, i wish i had been stronger at the time.

[Canary42]

When she says she's brought something bad (i.e.you) into the world, why not reply,

"Yes, how wicked of you, still we make a good pair as a result".

Should perhaps get her onside again.

[William51]

 You should not have killed the tree as it looks like an excessive action on your part, if you had just cut it back she might not have minded. With the arguing with her, just humour her, agree, and carry on with what you are doing.

[douglas9401]

What part of China is the shop in?

[1ozzy]

The part where real cattle stampede Doug.

Not those hairy little bovines in your neck of the woods.

[douglas9401]

Moove along now cobber. :)

[1ozzy]

Yippie yi Ohhhhh
Yippie yi yaaaaay

[retrocop]

Just tell your Mum that a lad called George Washington cut down a tree and look what heights he rose to.😆

[1ozzy]

But Isaac Newton discovered more than Apple Sauce goes well with pork..

Should have kept that tree..