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Why Do Majority Of Adults Just Assume That Children Of Any Age Cannot Play With Them?

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CoffieBREAK | 05:07 Tue 09th Apr 2024 | Family & Relationships
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Adults play with little kids such as toddlers, preschoolers, and lower level elementary school aged children, why don’t they actually play? Why do they always just let the kid win? I am referring to outside backyard games for example,

**** if two parents or you and a friend were to play a game they would actually play, but then as soon as a kid is playing with them they deliberately let them win with seemingly no effort, the child could be in kindergarten, they could be a preschooler, or they could even be a first grader or second or third grader and they get the same treatment.  . For that child who was playing, where was the challenge? ****

Isn't it bad for  self-esteem when you lie to a child about how good they are. Like lying to them that they are so strong and they overpowered you, or lying to them that they ran so fast you couldn't keep up, etc. if you actually played with them wouldn't they like that better? You aren’t giving the child an opportunity to play with you, instead you just are assuming that they cannot play with you and so are giving them the win. it doesn’t matter if they are a toddler, in preschool, a kindergarten, or even a second or third grader. It is all the same.

What is challenging or fun in wrestling if  the opponent in wrestling is just going to let them win and not even try, or just pretend during the whole thing?

What is fun or the challenge in basketball if they are playing on their kiddie hoop and they’re opponent just let them score, lets them win and doesn’t give any challenge? But at the same time just runs around and pretends to take the ball and stuff like that’s?

What is the challenge when playing monkey in the middle with your parents if they know that they are just going to get the ball, what is fun in monkey in the middle if the thrower just going to deliberately drops/fumble the ball, or that when that person is the  monkey that they were just going to pretend to try and get the ball but then act like they weren’t able to? 

In a rock climbing race on the playground if they know that the parents is going to let them win? What is fun in rockclimbing if the opponent doesn’t even try to climb or pretends and climbs incredibly slow? 

What exactly would happen if the adults were to actually play an example that I gave instead of just pretending and quite literally just giving the kid the win even though the kid is putting no effort into it? What would happen if the parents actually played monkey in the middle, actually played in the Rockwall race, etc.

How do you play with your child? What games? Do you let them win? Why do you do this? Why don’t you actually play and make them earn it? 

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The answers are in your question. PLAY is supposed to be fun.  We play WITH children, not against them.

Our size, experience and  dexterity gives us unfair advantages.

A child that constantly lost at any game would soon be discouraged and dispirited.  Teaching them the game in a fun environment will set them in good stead for playing with other children where they will win and lose.

In time they will beat their parents in an equal game. They won't have given up.

Question Author

What is fun or challenging about monkey in the middle for instance, when your child plays with both of their parents if when they are the monkey, the parents practically give it to them without them even trying?

Rockwall climbing race that your child wants to have with you on the playground, what is fun or challenging about it if their opponent is barely even engaging and climbing? Wouldn't they like it better if you actually played with them so that way they would actually have to earn it?

Again, if you were playing with a friend or another parent you would actually play. But why exactly whenever any kid, doesn't matter if they are a kindergarten or a first or third grader. The adult handed to them with seemingly no effort. I mean, whatever it is the kid giving if the adult just gives them the win? In the examples that I gave, how exactly is there an unfair advantage?  if the adult was actually playing, Like right now, what  effort is the child giving? 
 

The child isn't even having to try in the slightest because the parent or parents, Just practically give them the win.

You've just repeated your question, really.

Question Author

Also, why are you just assuming that the child would lose games well that's not necessarily what I'm talking about.

 

I'm talking about the adult actually engaging. For example, if you and a friend were to play any of the games that I listed, I guarantee that you would actually play, but then as soon as a child is in the mix all of a sudden the child wins with seemingly no effort and with the adults just very obviously faking everything

Question Author

That's because I'm confused and I'm not understanding

Yes, you've repeated part of your question again and failed to address the points I made.

Workno posted very similar stuff. Read through some answers.

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1862338.html

Question Author

I'm so sorry, I really do apologize. But I don't see what you were meaning by unfair advantage?
 

again, it doesn't matter the child's age if they are a toddler or in third grade. Children get handed the wind it seems but then when you play with your friend you actually play

If you can't understand that your size, years of experience in the game and superior ability to catch, reach, run, climb, comprehend a no d anticipate compared to a toddler is an unfair advantage then you shouldn't be playing with children 

Question Author

It isn't just done with toddlers it is like this even with first graders and even third or fourth graders.

 

//what is fun or challenging about monkey in the middle when your child plays with both of their parents if when they are the monkey, the parents practically give it to them without them even trying?

Rockwall climbing race that your child wants to have with you on the playground, what is fun or challenging about it if their opponent is barely even engaging and climbing? Wouldn't they like it better if you actually played with them so that way they would actually have to earn it?//

 

that brings me back to this.

You are not adding anything, you are simply repeating your question

Question Author

OK so in the examples that I gave. What would happen if the adult actually engaged?
 

Why is it that if they played with a friend they actually played but then when it comes to literally any kid, they just give them the win?

 

And I said it is not with just toddlers, but it still happens with the first graders and third graders etc. like what exactly is unfair about actually playing monkey in the middle or rock climbing, it is literally the exact same thing with a toddler, or a third grader. A third grader is much bigger than a toddler

Have you read the thread posted by newmodarmy? I've answered your questions and have nothing else to say 

Question Author

in the article that you sent me. Why would you give them a Headstart? But at the same time you would never give a friend that you are playing with a Headstart so why why with the child?

I play lefthanded at tennis v my wife

If the adult played to win everytime the child would soon become despondant and give up trying.

How many children have you raised or worked with Coffee etc?

My guess would be none!!

Question Author

I never said that they were playing to win. I mean the adult actually playing monkey in the middle, the adult actually racing their child on the playground Rockwall. The parent actually engaging in wrestling/arm wrestling. Etc.
 

once again, if you were playing with your friend in any of these activities you would not pretend, you would not give them the win. So how come when literally any child is in the mix all of the adults just start faking and pretending and then they just let the child win.
it does not matter if the child is in preschool or much older and in second or third grade

Question Author

I have just started noticing it and I'm curious. My friend also has a first grader. 

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