kids again

[kathydmills]

the reason I am asking for opinions on what kind of gap to have your children at is b/c my daughter is only 7months old. I know most people are probably thinking i am crazy for even thinking about more children already, but the time for my husband and I would be perfect for us to start trying to have another baby in February ( b/c he is in the navy ) which would put our kids at 1year and 6 months apart almost exactly to the do date and i want to be fair to lily ( my daughter ). I want her to have her baby time, but if we don't start when we have figured out then timing won't be right for probably a long while. Plus my husband is exposed to lots of radiation and the chances of have children, perticually a boy are decreased immencly My husband and I are also pretty young which normally taints the opinions of others. we are (me)-19 and (my husband)- almost 21. So now whats the opinion?

[ganesh]

The first one will allways be jealous of the new baby,and as you have seen most people don't know what the perfect age gap is.It depends on the individuals concerned so don't think about it.
Just do what you feel is right for you and your hubby.

I left 3 and a half years between mine as I wanted to enjoy all the baby and toddler time without the stress of pregnancy and another baby. Now that they are older I can see many advantages of having them closer together in age,
You are very young and you do have lots of time but if you feel you want to do it again already then go for it!

[justineo]

hi kathy, I would do what you feel is right for you all. My mum had three of us with 4 years apart and we were all really close when we were growing up and still are. She said it was hard work with three children under 4 but worth it. I only have one daughter, who's 9 and couldn't have any more so I would go for it now and enjoy.

[Le Chat]

There are 7 1/2 years between my 2 boys. There have been pros but mainly cons.
Pros- The eldest would have been awful to a new baby if he had been much younger ie 2/3, as he was to his cousin.
Cons- There is such a gap they are at different stages totally. The eldest misses out on such things as bowling, movies, meals out, as 3yr old is such a handful as well as being "an absconder."
When the eldest is doing his prep, the little fella is always grabbing his books, pens etc and running off. He also hates the attention taken away from him.
The youngster will not allow his poor older brother a lie in! So late nights for the 10yr old are still followed by early mornings!
I had 'got my life back' and had it taken away again, so it has been very,very hard for me physically and emotionally.
There is only 16months between me and my sister and we are very close. We went through all stages together and are best buddies. My Mum found it much easier after I had come out of the baby stage, as we were playmates, so she didn't constantly have to entertain just one of us.
So my opinion is - the closer the better!!!

[Le Chat]

Sorry to use the word "prep" instead of homework. We called it that at school and in my son's school and I have always hated it!!!! However, i'm so used to it, it just came naturally.

[kathydmills]

i am also the oldest and have 2 younger sisters and 2 younger brothers. 16, 14, 9, & 6, so I am 3.5 years older than my first sister 5 years older than my first brother, 10 years older than my second sister & 12 years older than my last little brother. My daughter is closer in age to my two youngest siblings than I am to them. I always wanted another sibling closer to my age to relate to. my sister that I am closest to in age is just young enough that she thinks that I can't elate to anything she is going through, even though we are not that far apart in age, I am married and moved a few states away with my husband, and have a baby of my own now. I want my daughter to have her own baby time but I think that in the long run she will enjoy having another sibling to relate to. Besides I am prepared to handle a baby and a toddler I have done it before with my youngest two siblings that I had a big in raising. we are ready I just wanted some insight, so that I am being fair to my daughter. So thank you for your opinions!

[bookermel]

I had thought that a 2 yr gap would be good between mine, but never being good at planning have a 19 mth gap. In my case this has worked out really well although it was hard work when they were very small. The best pro's were that they are both at very similar developmental stages. i.e. liked the same type of days out and holidays, movies etc. They are reasonably good friends and I would say there's minimal sibling rivalary!! Although because my daughter is younger they are both hitting puberty at the same time and so there is a lot of stroppy teeny behaviour at the moment and a return to "stiff lower lip" drama!!! But really how it works out will be down to not just how you handle it but the different personalities of your children, and although we can all do our best to encourage harmony, I truly believe that you can't book the children you get! and so you will never really know whether it's best to have them closely spaced or not! Good Luck anyway

[orlieborlie]

I've heard all variations from friends and family and all are happy with their decisions. The bottom line is if your children are healthy and happy you'll be blessed. I have a 16 mth old and would gladly have gone for the 2nd before now but I find myself questioning my relationship. If you are happy with your husband and long for another baby - go for it! I'd imagine you would find stresses and strains regardless of what gap you leave between your children.

[chevrolet1.8]

i had 4 children by the age of 28. there are 14 months between the first two and 11 months between the second two. yes it was a struggle but that was 4 children don't forget . do what you think is right for yourselves, don't be put off by other peoples experiences or opinions.