nuisance neighbour

[alan07]

my girlfreind has an appauling neighbour who is driving us up the wall. she must be in her eighties, lives on her own and we are almost certain she has memory problems, as she is constantly confronting us, for instance we are bricking all the drive, and the weather is holding us up so we have to park on the road, and because of this she is always telling us to go park somewhere else. she never confronts us when other people are around, that is the only time she is polite and says nice things. late at night she bangs on the wall and shouts obsenities, which we can hear through the wall, but cant pick up on the voice recorders on our phones. language i find rather disgusting for anyone let alone a woman her age, this can go on all night. she watches in the window and confronts our guests if they park outside her house, she accuses us of lowering al the kerbs in the street even though the council lowered them for the driveways, (??!!!!) throwing litter in her garden even though my girlfreind and her brother are grown up, accuses us of letting our dogs **** in her garden even though there is a six foot fence all round her garden, letting smoke into her house from the fire (even though we have a gas fire) drilling holes in her wall (we actually did 15 years ago which we repaired the damage) i could go on forever. we own our house, but hers is a council house and her son works for the council so were worried that were stuck in a dead end. does anybody have any suggestions as to what to do (besides move) ideally we would like to gather evidence against her but we don't know how to go about it, and who to present it to as we don't think the police would take us seriously. we are at the end our tether, she is worse than the old lady in that film with ben stiller in, where the old lady lives above. HELP!!!!!!

[B00]

she sounds like she might very well have mental problems, in a medical sense I mean. Maybe it's worth phoning some authorities to see if she needs help, afterall the poor woman is in her 80's, cut her a bit of slack!

As to who exactly who you, or indeed or girlfriend, does phone, i've no idea, maybe someone else will come along as advise?

[alan07]

we are at a loss, because we've had rows with her in the street in the past we feel if we confront her relatives they will accuse us of bullying her. we've started to try to not respond to her in public, but like we say whenever people are in the street she wont bother us.

[alan07]

all we want is a normal life without being confronted when we step outside. not much to ask.

[B00]

I sympathise, i really do, it must be awful for you and your girlfriend, it's just I can't help but think that she does need help of some kind. Maybe phone the local authorities and ask them? May be they can send someone to check out her mental well being? If that's ok, then at least you know she's just being downright mean rather than something actually wrong with her.

[cruella]

Hi alan07
I work with a local council and they will deal with the problem, even though this lady's Son works for the Council.
She sounds like she has mental health probelms of Dementia.
Speaking with her Son, even though he may be sympathetic she will deny everything as she is probably not aware what she is doing half the time.
Call your Local Council, even although you own your own home. Ask to speak with the Anti Social Behavour Team and they will follow it through.
It may take time but keep a diary on everything that happens when you approach the Team. That will give them something to work on.
If the problem persists, they will install a tape recorder in your house.
If it happens a night, call the Police. That will ensure you have gone through the proper channels in dealing with this problem.
Believe me, something can be done! Good Luck!

[alan07]

well to be honest one night we did call the police because we honestly thought she was being burgled the banging and shouting was that bad. when she answered the door we heard the police ask her 'have you been banging?' to which she replied 'yes, because they annoy me next door' (meaning us) and the police came over and rolled his eyes at us. we have also been keeping a log recently, so maybe we will call the anti social behaviour department se how we can get on. as much as we are ****** off at times we wouldn't want her to come to any harm, if she has a problem she needs attention.

[sifellis]

alan you have my deepest sympathies. I had a neighbour who was exactly the same.

The problem cleared itself up though as my mate ran over her cat in his car, purley accidental, and she died from the shock of it. No more noise from her since.

It should be like logans run, maybe extend the age limit to 70 and then off to carousel.

good luck.

[joko]

it may be that your lack of reaction makes her do it all the more... next time turn round and bascially '' tell her off'',
raise your voice a touch, warn her what you plan to do (i,e. police, authorities etc) show her you will not put up with it.
she may realise she is being out of order and stop

as someone else stated on here, some old people think they have 'earnt' the right to be obnoxious and rude, and that they fully intended to do so when they were old. it was jokily said but some people actually do that.

and some get preoccupied with trivial things because they have nothing else to do.
if you show her you are not pushover and an easy target she may stop

check out her mental issue first though, just in case it is not just her being a b1tch

old people do not just become kindly as they get older, they are essentially the same people they were when they were young