witches t**s

[marchantino]

my mate came out with a corker tonight.she said"i couldnt give a witches t*t what she thinks".it made me laugh.i was wondering what other funny sayings are out there.

[Philtaz]

They are endless. There's: He's about as much use as t*ts on a snake. That's as much use as a handbrake on a canoe. He couldn't find his a*se with both hands. She's had more time off than Rip Van Winkle's bedside light.

[SteveD]

...as much use as a chocolate teapot.

[New Forester]

He'd lose his ba*ls if they weren't in a bag. (Fuller version: ... a*se with both hands and a map) Better than a slap round the face with a wet haddock. Don't give a monkey's t*ss.

[willowyoulea]

Another one my dad always uses: "You're as worthless as t#ts on a boar." I use this one all the time Thanks to 'Good Will Hunting' "How do you like those apples"

[RogerK]

I've always liked "couldn't hit a cow's a*** with a banjo!" - often said of my shooting ability!

[Philtaz]

I've always preferred: Couldn't hit a bulls a*se with a handful of rice from 5 feet.

[Mortartube]

You're as useless as a spare prick at a ****** wedding

[Mortartube]

My edited answer is ladies of the night, rhymes with boars

[frenchy]

when playing cards if i over shuffle my mom tell's me i shuffled the t@t's of of the queen

[marchantino]

these are really funny.thanks guys.

[Bat2105]

As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike. As useful as a chocolate fireguard. Tight as an otters pocket. If brains were s**t he'd be constipated. If he fell in a barrel of s**t he'd come out smelling of roses (lucky man) If he fell in a barrel of boo*bs he'd come out sucking his thumb (not so lucky man)