Men

[foxydivano1]

Hi everyone, I'm after a bit of advice please. I work with this guy, and have done for the last 3 yrs. We have always enjoyed a laugh and a good old flirt but I wasn't really interested in him until now! And now I can't stop thinking about him. He's everything I look for in a guy, as in he's professional, successful, funny etc. We are mates too, so have discussed moving things on - however there are a few things that seem to stop us. Firstly, he has been in two serious relationships and says he's been hurt twice. Between these two major relationships he has played the field in a huge way (which actually makes me feel sick - only joking) but seriously he has slept around alot (don't worry I'd get him checked first!) hehe. He excuse for this is because he doesnt want to get 'close' to someone else who will end up hurting him, hence why he has no-attachement sex. I've tried to explain that he can't live his life in the way otherwise he will never find that someone special. I dont know if he is saying this to justify his number or if he is really afraid of getting hurt again?? I am completely different in this sense and don't sleep around. We have talked about sex and this is where we disagree. Mainly because I dont just want to be anther number in his statistics.
Having a heart to heart the other night he said he would love to find someone to settle down with and be comfortable with, not going out every weekend on the pull. What should I do or what options do you think I have? Should I ignore him, although this would be hard to do, should I hook him with great sex or should I just wait? Please help

[China Doll]

I think you're both talking about it way too much and that if your hears were really in to it one of you would have done something about it by now whether it was not quite what you wanted or not.

[lil75]

Sounds like your both scared for different reasons, him cos hes scared of commitment, thus getting hurt, and you cos you dont want to feel used and abused by him. You obviously like eachother, so why not get together and take things very slowly, if he respects you he will wait, and by him waiting he will realise that you are a respectable woman with your morals in the right place...that might ease his worries too...good luck x

[ceejn]

I just wondered why you've just become really interested in him after 3 years ,or am i missing something ?

[grivitate]

*pukes*

[foxydivano1]

thanks grivitate.

Erm, in response to Ceejn - I think its because for the first yr and 1/2 we were both in relationships and also it's only over the passed 12months that I have got to know him. I wasn't instantly attracted to him before but since we have got to know each other better there is definately something there. I dont know if its just sexual or the chase thing?

I dunno :(

Thanks to everyone for your advise anyway

[mirela]

personally i wouldnt believe someone whos sleeping around because got hurt before at all...