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what to think??

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radiogaga | 00:25 Fri 16th Jan 2009 | Family Life
4 Answers
hi dilemma, thoughts please.
ive just had my 2nd baby, 2 months ago.
hubby starts new position in job, has new female colleague, whos married, and younger.
chats about her daily, suggests a car share thing starting.
i becone insecure and look in his phone (i know).
she has sent two messages kind of work related, ending messages with xx.
next thing he brought her home (his suggestion) to see baby. i was not amused but got through it. she gives gifts for kids for xmas, he in return wanted to give her a bottle of champers until i put my foot down, we send a thank you card instead.
the day after when arguing he accuses me of making her feel unwelcome in our home as it was obvious i was unhappy she was there, he also must have sensed my insecurity as he said shes oveweight and your beautiful and slim.
so to end a long story i emailed him to say ive looked in phone i believe shes really ovefamilier, just met this girl and their orgainsing carshare, giving my children gifts.
coming to my home, i believe its niavety (sc) on his part
i hope...am i overreacting, ???well i really dont want her back and i dont want another female however overweight sending my man texts with bloody kisses.
radio..
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Radio. Id say its 6 of one and half dozen of the other.
I have some great guy friends, and i will often end their texts (and they will theirs) with xx. Doesnt mean a thing, crikey i even call them "hun".
But you having just had a baby, i can completely understand where you are coming from with the insecurity and not wanting your fella to be in any situation where another female may get overfamiliar.
Try and find a comprmise, but make sure that you talk about whats upsetting you and try and get him to understand why.
I doubt very much theres anything going on or he wouldnt be bringing her home.
I understand how you feel - but I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Texts with kisses are perfectly normal, and don't mean anything - but because your hormones are still bouncing off the walls, your insecurity is perfectly normal and understanable.

Talk it over calmly with your husband, so you don't come over like a bunny-boiler, but a wife with a little concern - so he can set your mind at rest.

I also think that the husband should show some consideration and tact. If he had given birth, had 24/7 childcare and had the missus coming home all smils with some arm candy he might feel a tad put out.
Also, and very old fashioned as I am, I do not believe that male-female relationships are ever wholly platonic. It is one thing to call someone 'hun' in passing, but quite another to be bringing them home and effectively welcome them into your daily life. But that's a me thing.
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thanks for replies, i guess its a little of the hormones and being in the house most days.
ill chat with hubby and explain my fears.
thanks again. radio.

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