The Crying Game... part II.

[Bbbananas]

She can't see it properly in the mirror, no matter what angle. It feels HUGE. It needs getting rid of pronto. But, all the docs she could possibly consult, she knows personally or works with. Still - embarrassment at bay, she approaches a female doc. In shame, she blurts out her confession - on the couch, knees up Mother Brown - points out The Thing... The Huge Bubble of Herpes...

The doctor pokes, prods, umms & aahs... The patient waits for the STI diagnosis & the antibiotics & the disposal of aforementioned new lover. (Shame really - cos he was gooooooooooood).
"Have you shaved recently?" asks the Doc. "Errr yes..." mumbles shamed person.
To cut to the quick - Blunt blade has nicked delicate lady area - & caused a fluid-filled cyst. Not Herpes at all. Not the new lover's doing at all.

Girl shoots off couch, knickers up, out the door red-faced. Doc laughing (that's not very professional is it?) Keeps the new lover for the time being (God, he's gooooooooooood). Never mentions suspected Herpes story - in case offence is taken.
Conclusion: Girls - better to be hairy than have a bloody (or cystic) 'Mary'.

[waterboatman]

I like it Tilly. I'll borrow that if I may!

[Bbbananas]

I'She' was mortified wbm... All sorts of things go through your mind when in a panic. This 'girl' had never had an 'infection' of that sort in her life - and although she should have known better & was supposedly medically knowledgeable, she was horrified that she had to go knickers in hand to a work colleague and ask her to take a look at the supposedly diseased and decaying nether regions...

[B00]

what a lovely heartwarming story, that's one to tell your children when they're tucked up in bed......

[Bbbananas]

This lady's daughter is already aware of the story Boo - one has a duty to warn one's female friends & family of potential pitfalls with blunt blades.
As I said to Bobbi earlier - this thread could well have been entitled 'Pubic Safety Announcement'....

[Bobbisox]

I had a friend who told us girls on a Friday Night out, she had been suffering badly with thrush (yeh, she was a bit of an irritating **** I didn't write it honest..LOL)
someone had suggested she use yoghurt to clear it, they obviously meant natural yoghurt!!! but the daft bat comes out and says "I won't be doing that again, the strawberries in it made a helluva mess!!!
a true story!
Bobbi

[Bbbananas]

Urgh Bobbi - I have brought a raspberry yoghurt in for my lunch... I might dispose of it now!

[Bobbisox]

we still laugh abot this one to this day sall, mind you, the woman in Qs, isn't the full shilling at times
Bobbi

[Bbbananas]

But, as Craft said yesterday - after that frightening event - she certainly 'kept her hand on her ha'penny'... ;-)

[mccfluff]

phew i was imagining far far worse!

Bobbi i think lots of people have done that one of my frieds asked if hazelbut yoghurt would work

[Bbbananas]

I suppose I misled you with the 'bloody mary' comment? I am pleased to report, there was no blood involved. (Mind you, I have 'nicked' down below on several occasions - ouch, not a wise thing to do. And I bet we've all experienced the shaving rash or the red stubble look - a look that does not impress when wearing a bikini or swimsuit. ;-)

[Sqad]

salla......LOL.

Once went out with a nurse who gave herself a good squirt of Femfresh (or was it fromage frais?)and some went intravaginal. Poor night for young sqad.

[Bbbananas]

That reminds me of a friend of my son - he'd been round our house one night & got a bit pickled on the homemade sloe gin, so he rang his mum to come & pick him up. Bearing in mind - we had never met his mother. We saw him out to the car and thought it only polite to say hello to her & apologise for her son's inebriated state.
He flays his arms around, from her to us and shouts out "This is me mam - she uses F@nny Femfresh...." Awkward silence all round. Not the best & politest of introductions. We did however go on to become good friends.

[mccfluff]

f@nnyfemfresh pmsl, what did she say?

[rinkins]

She must have been mortified

[Bbbananas]

She just raised her eyebrows as if to say "Not again Mark....". She didn't even blush - she was obviously used to such comments from her wayward son! We'd had a few sloe gins as well (my husband was also witness to this unconventional introduction...) I am ashamed to say we laughed !!

[mccfluff]

well i would of laughed as well, what else could you do!

i'm going to have to introduce someone that way now!

[Bbbananas]

"Good morning.... May I introduce my good friend Trina... she uses F@nny Femfresh you know....."

it has a nice ring to it doesn't it?!!!

[rinkins]

PMSL

I am so glad you only posted this today, if I had read it last night I wouldn't have even considered shaving my legs....

Nice to meet you Trina I use tena lady

[Bbbananas]

Well my good friend... your mention of tena lady reminds me of lots of other embarrassing stories... mostly concerning my good friend Lil - she of the weak bladder. (And yes - I DID mention that in my wedding speech... it went down a storm. And she laughed that much she was pleased she was wearing some on the day.)