I've really annoyed my downstairs neighbour and I need advice

[thedaveformula]

I played loud music at 3am. I allowed people into my house who couldn't be trusted and ended up causing a big argument and the police coming out. The floors are very thin and I could the guy knocking up to warn me to get the noise off. I tried to get the so called friends out but they kept their singing and dancing until the police removed them.

The man downstairs has already came up about noise before, about three months ago. He's tough as nails and doesn't suffer fools gladly. I really want to go down there to apologise but I reckon he'll go absolutely mental and possibly get violent.

A few of the important questions I've asked on this board have reflected my own poor judgement however this has been the result of 3 isolated months where for some reason I drank heavily and was a bit of a nusiance.

I've learned my lesson. I've told the 'friends' not to come back. I really want a peaceful resolution to this and make a new start and show the other people in the block of flats that I can be as quiet as a mouse.

I'm worried that I'll meet the downstairs guy when taking out the bins, the washing, or using the communal lane - and I am scared what he might do.

I've already beaten myself up very much over this and so no one here can do so any worse.

What do I do to avoid this getting confrontational with the neighbour? Thank you.

[Mosaic]

Write a personal apology and put it in his mailbox.

[NazNomad]

"He's tough as nails and doesn't suffer fools gladly"
"What do I do to avoid this getting confrontational with the neighbour?"

Stop being one?

[~Wingnut~]

I think the only option you have left is to write him a letter saying you realise what a fool and terrible neighbour you have been, apoligise and say I hope we can wipe the slate clean and start again. It is then up to him what he does. I think if he was really after you then you would know it by now.
Worst comes to the worst you may have to move if he makes you feel that stressed about it all or he may just choose to ignore you and you should do the same.

Good luck, at least you have realised that you have been a bad neighbour and want to rectify it, it's a pity others can't follow suit.

[sara3]

take him a peace offering.. bottle of wine/whiskey, chocolate.. whatever, explain yourself and profusely apologise.

[tamborine]

as Sara says but blame gate-crashers, so you smell of roses.

[daftgrandad]

A head to head meeting is by far the best way.
Explain how sorry you are for recent incidents and tell your neighbour it will not
happen again.
As sara says a small peace offering might go a long way.

[wolf63]

If he was going to beat you up and dump you in the wheelie bin I think that he would have done so last night - when he was really annoyed.

I go with what the others say - peace offering or letter and then be quieter and more thoughtful towards all your neighbours in the future.

[Jemisa]

Copy and paste this letter and put copies through their letter-boxes or post them.

I believed you were sorry and would take steps not to let it happen again.(Make sure it doesn't)
Give it a few days and then give 'em a knock with a nice bottle of plonk. Then keep it short and say Sorry. (Should melt the ice)

jem

[Liza23l]

I really want a peaceful resolution to this and make a new start and show the other people in the block of flats that I can be as quiet as a mouse.

I'm worried that I'll meet the downstairs guy when taking out the bins, the washing, or using the communal lane - and I am scared what he might do.

So you've upset everyone but are just scared of this one guy and want to please him so he doesn't get violent. To all here that says he should give a peace offering to this gentleman (Or maybe not so gentle) Daveformula If you've upset everyone wouldn't it make sense to apologise to everyone and what makes you say he'd get violent, has he got form for this? Also one more thing sometimes people take kindness for weakness so the peace offering idea could possibly backfire, then again it could work depending on what he's like and whether he's still angry. Have you seen him since the incident?

[Stargazer]

You sound genuinely contrite about this incident. If you live in block of flats I am not sure whether it is never right to have a loud party at all, but if you do, to let your flat neighbours know so they could go out that evening if they chose to. Also midnight would be a reasonable hour ro finish in a block of flats.

I would definitely write a very short note to start with, expressing your remorse. You do not need to go into details, but I would print off your long posting and enclose that. From that he will see all the things you need to get over without you labouring the point and he will see that the uninvited guests were the problem etc.
Good luck. Do let us know how you get on. If I were to read what you had written, in his place, it would make a lot of difference to how I reacted the following day.

[wildwood]

People are often (but not always) more forgiving than you think. I am with Jem on this one. A short note to apologise and to say that you'd like to pop over tomorrow evening to apologise properly, with a small gift as suggested. Flowers for the missus usual work.
This gives the neighbour time to tell you to *******off, or hopefilly he might even approach you and offer his hand in friendship.

You need to make sure that you pay proper attention to creating annoyance to the neighbours in future though. If it happens again after this I would encourage your neighbour and come up and.... well you know.

[boxtops]

If you're in a block of flats with either a landlord (if you rent), or a managing agent (if you own) it would be worth dropping them a line, just to explain your version of events and to apologise and say it won't happen again. If the other occupants should then write to them about you, complaining, at least you have had the chance to set your side of the story. At least you know that you were way out of order, which is a start!

[DosAmigos]

Move

[Booldawg]

when you bump into him ask he if heard the music and explain it was a mafia staff party.

[jackthehat]

Perhaps he'll tell the police that you have a gun ?

[thedaveformula]

@jackthehat PR*CK.

[vinrex7]

As the others have said, write a letter explaining that your sorry etc, but if you go back on your word and become a noisy neighbour again he will probably beat your @$$. I would.

[jackthehat]

Is that what YOU did when your mates neighbour played his music loudly ?

Pot Kettle...........

[thedaveformula]

@jackthehat so what i got involved with the wrong people when i moved to this town i don't need you bringing all that firearms charge stuff into this just go away

[Dris]

Ha -shot yourself in the foot there dave didnt you -are you really always this contrite -bit quick of the mark werent you?
If youre like that i wouldnt go near your neighbour