Husbands Flirting

[chilliwitch]

Right here we go...Hubby and I have been together 12 years,married 7 of those.Never had any major problems just the usual!He went out on the lash last weekend,I met him and his mates 7 hours later.He was very,very drunk,had a nice time to start with then he walks back from playing pool,walks straight past me and starts blatantly chatting up a girl 2 ft behind me,I heard him telling her how great she looks and what lovely legs she has!!!I was raging!!!We had words he told me "it doesn't matter I love you and am leaving with you" I left fuming!.He came home,had major row.Next day he profusely apologised said he was really sorry he was drunk,never meant to hurt me etc.Walking on eggshells for a few days but I do believe he is genuinely sorry and never meant to do it.I just feel devastated though,i feel like he's betrayed me, I feel so insecure now where as I have never been this wayif he could do that when i was there what would he do when i wasn't,the girl was the total opposite of me,younger than me and the type of girl hubby always said he doesn't"fancy".I keep thinking to myself get over it,he was drunk and otherwise wouldn't have done it.I know he loves me as i do him but i just can't seem to push it out of my mind.
Am I overreacting and how do I get over it
TIA x

[ummmm]

Hard to say....my OH would say something like that. He would either...

a) just being playing her a compliment..

b) Taking the p!ss

Most of the time it would be b)

[LoftyLottie]

From another point of view.

I was always the flirty one in our relationship . Mr LL just would never flirt. And yes, drink would make me over flirty - but it never meant anything.

So yes you are overreacting because I think it would have been the drink. He may not even have flirted if you hadn't been there!! You would have given him the security to flirty knowing that it wasn't going to be misconstrued by the girl!!

Just forget it and don't let it become an issue.

[ummmm]

I agree with Lottie...My OH wouldn't bat an eye if I was a bit flirty. And vice versa...

[chilliwitch]

I know i have got to get over it but im finding it hard.I know it was down to the drink.Had I have done that in front of him with a bloke he wouldv'e gone ape!!Thank you for advice x

[LoftyLottie]

And to be honest, I flirted with everybody, and probably wouldn't have flirted with people I really fancied!! It was the drink. Cheer up!!

[milly143]

I'm with you, I would have been fuming! But then I'm the jealous type.

I'd make him pay for a few days.

[Mick-Talbot]

'I've still got it'

if i have been drinking & flirting, that's what i come home and say.

'shurrup you silly old git ' would be the wifes reply.

if it was a one off, treat it as a one off. Stop worrying.

[chilliwitch]

Thank you Mily,Im not usually the jealous type but hey ho!!I am making him pay!!

[ummmm]

Why would you make him pay?

[joeluke]

Flirting.....yes

Flirting right under your wifes nose.......out of order

[chilliwitch]

Mick,if he had come home and said that my reply would've been the same as your wifes,it was the fact it was done in front of me that hurt but you are right it was drink,a one off and i will stop worrying....eventually!

[milly143]

Because as Joeluke says, doing it in front of your face when he knows it might upset you is just quite unkind really.

[chilliwitch]

Why would I make hm pay?Because it's disrespectful.I am not naive and know it is human nature to flirt but it right in front of me which I think is bang out of order,maybe I look at things differently to you but thats how i see it

[joeluke]

Get your own back by blatantly flirting right under his nose next time

[ummmm]

Maybe he had enough confidence in you that he thought you'd see it for what it was...innocent flirting.

[DTCwordfan]

Not exactly going to become HM's ambassador to China is he.......no, over the top, and he probably feels very guilty. However, there's a big difference between an overt flirt and, say, a grope or, even worse, more.

Let him know your displeasure but bear in mind that there may be occasions, not sexual, that he is bigtime pizzed off with you......the old adage of "lose the battle, win the war" (or sort of!). Go and enjoy your racrochment and enjoy it to the full, both of you......

[LoftyLottie]

I think differently. I wouldn't worry about flirting in front of me but if I found out he flirted behind my back I would be worried!!

[chilliwitch]

I cant do that Joe,I'd feel really bad!!Ummmmm If he knows me well enough to have that much confidence in me he should know me well enough to know how hurt I would be harmless or not,I would never do it to him as i know how he would feel

[LoftyLottie]

I presume we are just t alking 'flirting here'. If he was seriously chatting her up it would be different. Telling someone they look great and have lovely legs is hardly chatting them up, or is it?

[ummmm]

It's paying them a compliment....more people need to compliment each other :-)