Your favourite put down

[weefatboab]

What is your favourite put down politically or otherwise? My own favourite has to be Winston Churchill on replying to Lady Astor's '' If you were my husband I'd poison your coffee.'' he replied '' If you were my wife, I'd drink it!''

[paddywak]

also churchill to astor "winston you are drunk"
" i know madam and you are ugly but tomorrow i will be sober"

[Grunty]

Another Churchill one:
(About Clement Attlee). He is a modest man with so much to be modest about.

[chakka35]

Dorothy Parker and a young attractive woman were approaching the same door. The younger woman stepped back and motioned Parker forward with the words "Age before beauty". "Very well," said Parker, "pearls before swine."

[Marvelman]

A large comic was on stage doing his act, when someone in the front row shouted how come you are so fat, he replied because everytime i sh-g your wife she cooks me a meal.

[Xollob]

One of my favourites: at a dinner party with Margot Asquith (wife of prime minister Herbert Asquith), actress Jean Harlow insisted on pronouncing the "T" at the end of "Margot". When Margot's patience ran out, she pointed out to her guest that the T was silent, "as in Harlow".

[beccajohnson]

you can't dress up a turnip

[Grunty]

How about another one from Churchill?
"I remember, when I was a child, being taken to the celebrated Barnum�s circus, which contained an exhibition of freaks and monstrosities, but the exhibit...which I most desired to see was the one described as �The Boneless Wonder�. My parents judged that that spectacle would be too revolting and demoralising for my youthful eyes, and I have waited 50 years to see the boneless wonder sitting on the Treasury Bench".
Referring to the Labour prime minister, Ramsey MacDonald. Speech, House of Commons, 28 Jan 1931

[Bellringer]

Not political but.
A football fan (drunk) to a Policewoman on a horse.
"Your horse looks knackered love" the reply
"If you'd been between my legs for the last 3 hours you'd look knackered"

[dinosour]

A guy comes up to a gorgeous young girl in a bar, and tries his best chat up line, How do you like your eggs in the morning. She replys "Unfertalised"