I hope that you find these old jokes funny .......

[wolf63]

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS

Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers (supposedly)

Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”

Delta 351: “Give us another hint, we have digital watches!”

****************

Tower: “TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.”

TWA 2341: “Centre, we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?”

Tower: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”

****************
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long take off queue: “I’m f…ing bored!”

Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!”

Unknown aircraft: “I said I was f…ing bored, not f…ing stupid!”

****************
O’Hare Approach Control to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.”

United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this...I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”

****************
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar ATC asked. “What was your last known position?”

Student: “When I was number one for take off.”

[naartje]

jolly good...chocks away....tally ho..pip pip.....hee hee ;-)

[carmalee]

LOL wolf63

[marval]

HaHa

[Brinjal]

united Plane landing in Frankfurk

Controller. Disabled plane on left of runway bear to the right.


Pilot. I can see the plane have yet to locate the bear.