When my first husband and I divorced....

[gness]

thirty five years ago I remained friendly with his parents and relatives. I remarried and moved to Canada and ex's parents and favourite Aunt visited me, their grandson from my first marriage and my new hubby once or twice a year. On return to the UK they spent most Christmases with us and came every Sunday for dinner. I had a daughter, ex married and had a daughter...they became friends. It was great for the grandparents except that wife No2 wouldn't speak to me...silly isn't it?
Today, at ex Mil's funeral I sat at the back and held up well until the Minister said that one of the highlights of her life was holidaying with me and my new husband in Canada.
Was it an olive branch? I don't know but after the service I gave wife No2 a big cuddle and kiss and thanked her for letting that be said. I don't think she knew what to do but I wish we had done it thirty years ago so MiL could have seen, if not a friendship, no bad feeling between us.
So, a lesson.......life is too short for these petty differences that hurt other people.....and we left it to late. :-(

[tonyav]

You didn't gness, she did.

[tenrec]

That is so very true. I din't speak to my Mum for 10 years. A long time ago.
Now we are back together and have a really good relationship. I do think we did need a little time apart though to get this far.

[DTCwordfan]

so an emotional day then and something that you weren't expecting......

hope you have got through it ok, xx

[craft1948]

True Gness, funny but the first Mr Crafts second wife doesn't like me either, yet I've never caused any trouble between him and her...........

[gness]

I should have made more of an effort Tony. x

[gness]

Strange, emotional and funny. DT

Crafty...don't you think some folks feel obliged to fall into a role and can't see the bigger picture?

[Psybbo]

Gness, that was lovely, ex M-i-L saw her wish fulfilled today and was smiling on you xxx

[tonyav]

gness, you can only do so much.

[gness]

Thank you Sib and Tony. x

[craft1948]

The daughter always says that she is jealous of me. I can't think why, she got what she wanted and so did I.

[friedgreentomato]

I did not speak to my mother before she died - do I regret it - yes - I never got a chance to tell her exactly what I felt!

[gness]

Same here Crafty....I was pleased to see him happy so I never knew why she was so wary of me. I'm not that scary!

[sherrardk]

I think that was a very generous thing to do Gness, but not something everyone would want to do. I haven't seen or had any contact with my biological father since my early twenties and I never will. His loss, as he has missed out on my beautiful children (actually don't know if he is still alive or not). x

[dickythecook]

Sometimes gness, when you continue to proffer an olive branch to a person who feels (wrongly) that you wronged them, they feel justified in disliking you more. Rather than looking to themselves for the real answer as to the cause of the ill feeling. Do not take any blame. dtc x

[gness]

Circumstances Sherr. There was no need for this and MiL would have been happy.
My mother now, is a different kettle of fish!

Dicky!!! You still alive? Thought Alba had finished you off on the Morning Owd thread!!!!!

[shoota]

XXXXXXXXXXX......X

[gness]

Ooooo that was nice Shoota. xxxx

[shoota]

For me too - smoking a fag now.....

[tonyav]

How did you get on at the dentists, gness ?, no work needed I hope.

[gness]

OOOoo....that nice? :-)